A tourist is traveling through Ireland and stops by a pub for dinner. Lonely and looking for company he strikes up a conversation with a local man sitting at the bar. He asks the man for his name and he replies,

“Did you cross the bridge on the way into town?” The tourist nods. “I built that with me own two hands! Do they call me Seamus the bridge builder? No!”

The tourist tries to reply but the man continues, “did you see that great big stump outside the pub?” The tourist nods again “I cut that down with me own two hands! Do they call me Seamus the lumberjack? No!”

The tourist asks, “What do they call you, then?”

The man mutters, “You fuck one goat…”