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Ah, old Bachem Macuno’s timeless screed.
The link seems to not work for me, though, when direct-linked (or, didn’t work on my phone, worked on my computer for some reason). If it doesn’t work, try following the first one: https://worldofvalues.wordpress.com/2006/09/16/bachem-macuno-the-greatest-adult-fanfic-writer-ever/
Second part: https://web.archive.org/web/20220419040328/https://backinanncoultersasssaddleagain.blogspot.com/
Hmm sorry it did work for me. The second part seems to have vanished sadly.
Yeah, weird - I just posted backup linkies just in case.