I’m a man. Only ever dated, been attracted to women. Recently I met this guy and I’m having weird feelings. I can’t quite tell if I’m attracted to him as a person or just like the way he treats me; nonetheless something makes me want to treat him differently than any other guys - the way I would a girl I suppose. My friends say I might be attracted to femininity in general regardless of gender and that’s why I feel this way, and the reason why it hasn’t surfaced until now is because I haven’t yet met a guy to tick those boxes. Wondering if anyone has been through something similar.

  • Phoenixz
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    17 minutes ago

    Who cares? If you like him, and he likes you, go have some fun. If you like it with him, do it again with him. If you like it in general, do it again with other guys as well.

    If you don’t like it, don’t do it again, wt least until the next time you feel curious

    Don’t let weirdo’s dictate.thst you can’t have fun with being curious, don’t feel the need to label everything

  • @[email protected]
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    51 hour ago

    Yea I pretty much threw away labels because it got to be a pain in the ass to try and say anything when I always end up going into that description “I’m just attracted to femininity”.

  • @[email protected]
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    122 hours ago

    Binary gender is such bullshit. Nobody is attracted to every man or every woman. It’s totally normal to be attracted to people who fall into both buckets if that’s your only way of categorizing people. Because that’s not how attraction or sexuality work. It’s so much richer and more nuanced than that.

  • @[email protected]
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    42 hours ago

    I am straight as a board, to my despair. Women are so beautiful and in general hold up better as we get older, it would be so lovely to know I could switch teams if my husband died or we divorced, my kids say I should date women next time if there is a next time but alas, I’ve tried and there is nothing. It’s men for me.

    I would argue that being attracted to individuals regardless of their gender is the most natural and reasonable sexuality there is, though. I think of bisexuality or pansexuality as the default setting for humans - we don’t have a mating season or anything, we use sexuality for all sorts of non- reproductive reasons. My kids were raised with no pressure to be straight or not, 3/4 of them are queer, 2 of those lean gay one leans hetero, but as preference not orientation if that makes sense. One is as straight as I am, it’s an orientation.

  • @[email protected]
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    62 hours ago

    Yep. Thought I was straight until my 30s and saw a picture that made me feel things about men that I usually felt about women. Turns out I’m not that picky about gender but women get a +5. (which means, even if I wasn’t married, the guys I’m attracted to are wayyyyyy outta my league.)

  • @[email protected]
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    22 hours ago

    Best advice I ever got regarding this kind of things: Try it out and see where it goes! Play open, be honest and have fun! ;-)

  • @[email protected]
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    73 hours ago

    I’ve thought a couple different guys were hot, but the idea of actually having sex with them still doesn’t do it for me. Ah well, life is confusing sometimes.

  • @[email protected]
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    23 hours ago

    It could be a romantic however not necessarily a sexual attraction (aesthetic attractions also exist). I’m asexual, but still have romantic and aesthetic attractions to people.

  • @[email protected]
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    33 hours ago

    I am straight, but my social media habits put me into a lot of contact with memes from gay, lesbian, pan, and everything else under the sun. A lot of it seems relatable, even if I never experience those same feelings IRL with real people. Definitely makes me question my sexuality semi regularly, lol.

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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    64 hours ago

    I saw gay porn once and was immediately sure that I’m hetero. That’s definitely not the flavor for me. If how I felt is how gay people feel when they see hetero sex in movies, then you guys have my condolences. Yuck!

  • @[email protected]
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    85 hours ago

    I never really questioned my sexuality, but I did have an experience that somewhat confirmed it for me.

    I’ve had a fairly open relationship with my wife and we’ve brought people in for various reasons, and I had the opportunity to have a devil’s threesome with my (at the time) brother from another mother, and during a lul when my wife had to use the bathroom, we kept the mood going ourselves. Found out that I’m definitely not (physically) into AMABs, and they (eventually) found out they were trans. I still love the hell out of her even if I don’t talk to her nearly as much as I’d like (damn life always life-ing), and I have a couple non-sexual semi-ronantic relationships with AMABs in my life, and one of my partners is a (semi-transitioned) trans-man.

    All that to say, you never know if you don’t try. And if you feel that the person is safe/trustworthy/receptive enough, it can’t hurt to test the waters and see. You may find out that you’re bi, demi or pan. And you might just have your cis-het confirmed as well. But you’ll never know unless you’re willing to make that step.

  • @[email protected]
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    34 hours ago

    A little in my twenties. It turned out that I just wanted to try out sex with women and once I did it that was pretty much it.

  • @[email protected]
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    126 hours ago

    Its like a math question. You need to show your working, even if you guess the right answer, or you don’t get full marks for it.

  • hendrik
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    7 hours ago

    Btw, questioning things is usually a healthy thing to do. And sexually or attraction is complex. For some people it’s also (or more) about personality and less about body features. Or it’s multiple factors. You can be attracted to more than one gender. It’s a wide bandwidth. And there’s a lot of different things out there. You do you.