From Florida, of course 😄
This woman is going to be very successful in her future career
her lawyer argued she should not have to serve prison time because her “creative side is coming back out now,” adding that she volunteers at a local art center and is working on an album.
I don’t think being an artist’s with an album in works is a great defence.
If it works, then I’ll be constantly working on my next album.
You have a trial 6 months later and if you’re not dropping bars in court you go to prison
A Florida woman that wanted to attend clown school, that explains everything.
That’s like a fish that wants to attend swimming lessons
she was just trying to learn how to fit in in Florida better
There’s even more to the story, every step even more absurd than the other:
US woman caught with golden gun in luggage at Sydney airport jailed for a year
US woman backflips in court, pleads guilty to smuggling 24-carat gold gun into SydneyA review of Goodson’s phone revealed she had searched online “can I have a gun in my suitcase?” and set a calendar entry with a note reminding her to “put gun in suitcase”.
“What about the gun in your bag?” she was asked by a customs officer. Goodson replied: “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
“I am scared of shooting it… I would probably just pistol whip until I got training again,” she said.
The court also heard that she previously owned two other guns while living in the States, but she had accidentally given them away. "Those guns I ended up giving away, because I accidentally left them in a donation box."
Clown school principal: “I’m sorry ma’am, we have nothing to teach you.”
US woman backflips in court
I’m gonna need a courtroom sketch of that
You’re welcome.
The stupid of this chick really manages to one-up itself with each sentence, huh?
Oh wow that’s as Florida as it gets
Holy fuck 💀
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But, wait! There’s more…
her lawyer argued she should not have to serve prison time because her “creative side is coming back out now,” adding that she volunteers at a local art center and is working on an album.
That’s the best argument she could come up with? Well, good luck with that.
Well she is a literal clown
not yet!
Her lawyer said she packed the pistol because she was high and paranoid from synthetic marijuana, which she uses to cope with trauma
She shouldn’t be allowed to own a gun in the first place.
Because she does drugs? By that standard no one should own a gun.
because she’s self medicating for trauma and it’s making her paranoid. this is clearly not a very stable person. in fact, believing the first thing you read on Google about how to use guns is another pretty good sign that that aren’t going to use it safely.
there’s better and worse ways to use drugs. self medicating to escape something is generally the worst way to use them. like, i get it. I’ve been there. it’s how i went from casual user with company to unstable addict. I eventually recognized that and have gotten clean. the reason we need a doctor to help us with dosages to relieve symptoms without losing ourselves is because drugs make us feel good in general. it’s basically impossible to look at yourself and know when it’s too much or inappropriate usage.
all that said, i get it. when you can’t afford a doctor to do that for you sometimes you just need to kill whatever feeling is inside of you. sometimes you just need to run away to survive. just don’t buy a firearm while you do that…
People who currently use drugs illegally are also forbidden from having guns in the USA. Hunter Biden was convicted of the related offense of lying about it on the background check form.
synthetic marijuana exists because it’s legal in most places that natural stuff isn’t.
Is there any indication that she’s using it illegally?
Friendo here in the US you can use ∆8-THC in almost all states, it is legally distinct from ∆9, the kind found in real weed. ∆8 is made through the chemical adulteration of CBD, something that is made from hemp, an industrial crop. Synthetic weed is neither prohibited, nor discouraged in most of the US and can be purchased at gas stations.
See that’s exactly why gun control works
You got yourself a deal!
Wife beaters and gun owners. Name a better venn diagram.
Wife beaters and cops. Tighter fitting circles.
Except it’s been illegal for those convicted of DV to own guns since like 1968.
At last-- The world so badly needs the skills and professionalism that a “clown school” will bring. We can populate the next generation of politicans, CEOs, and journalists from this clown school.
We can populate the next generation of politicans, CEOs, and journalists from this clown school.
I thought we already did? Where else would they be finding Republican politicians and opinion columnists?
Look at how old the fossils in Congress are. That is how much experience it required to become such high tier clowns. You need a state-of-the-art clown school to replace them without a drop in quality. 🤡
Wanna know how I got these scars? Student debt a s 5 years of the gig economy.
as someone who went to clown school, I can’t say that everyone there was very smart.
they had to have an intervention with the year below me because they all stopped eating solid food to do a fad diet with some kind of herbal tea.
I want to lie down on a rug in front of the fireplace and listen to your clown school tales, while you sit in a rocking chair and knit
Wouldn’t tying balloon animals be more appropriate than knitting?
Too squeaky
Just putting it out there - this is one of those situations where a story about the inner drama of clown school (with pictures if possible) could elevate you to an internet legend. I personally had no idea it was a multi-year process.
Joel McHale might play you in the movie adaptation. This lady could make a cameo once she’s out of prison and deported back to the US. Maybe don’t startle her on set, though.
I bet you could do a really interesting AMA based on that experience
Maybe!
in the mean time the school I attended in name checked in this article
Dude, you’re only making us more anxious for the storytelling hour
Another vote for Clown School AMA. I used to know a couple jugglers, they had friends who were street performers and professional clowns, always very interesting.
French clown school?
No. A 3 year course at a major UK drama school but many of the tutors did lecoq, gaulier or worked with major companies: told by an idiot, Slava, Frantic, Spymonkey, LAnge Fou…
You know the headline is packed when there’s a literal golden gun and not a single N64 Goldeneye reference.
“He doesn’t need TWO of them!” explains Florida woman, the unlicensed clown who stole gun via illegal clown magic trick while at John Woo’s birthday bash.
EDIT: Imagine Gex saying it, especially if you don’t remember the John Woo game.
You think a modern day Gex could work now adays?
Depends on how low your expectations are:
Granted it’s 7:30am, legally distinct, and I believe them bones are me.
I’d probably do a genre mix (3rd-person, themed boomer shooter?) if I had that capability, but I would probably struggle with with maps, writing, and just scope in general.
Lol did you just whip that up on the fly?
It may just have to lie dead like Blasto, Buxby, Croc, Glover, and Conker. Unless you want to be the change I’d like to see in the world. I have Gameboy studio knowledge, C# knowledge but have no idea where to even start with 3d engines.
I know internet crowd sourced scripts and or references could be achieved it you get enough following.
That is how you show up to clown school.
She deserves an honorary doctorate in clownology
They can just hand her the diploma and send her off again.
I… can fix her…
Google “Here are 5 million results that say you can’t bring a gun in your suitcase, and ONE that says you can”
Clown selecting the ONE result “I KNEW IT”
Google “Just because I have it doesn’t make it true!!”
Google does tend to find what it thinks you want. She probably entered something analogous to “ok to have gun in Australia”
No brain cells were harmed, or even used in any way during that particular interaction … I suppose they also eat rocks or inject bleach?
