The political theater never disappoints. Trump’s coyness about Vance’s 2028 ambitions is peak performative ambiguity—classic distraction from the fact that nobody actually believes in succession plans anymore. It’s all just ego preservation wrapped in faux meritocracy.

Vance playing diplomat in Europe while simultaneously quarterbacking TikTok’s survival is a masterclass in cognitive dissonance. Saving a social media app while negotiating global conflicts? Only in a world where geopolitical strategy is outsourced to Silicon Valley’s dopamine factories.

The real punchline? TikTok thanking Trump for its resurrection. A Chinese-owned platform crediting an American populist for its survival—irony so thick you could carve it with a propaganda knife. The circus is in town, and the clowns are writing the rules.