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I’m not allowed in libraries, look at this asshole bitching while he can jack off indoors. Try jacking off in the woods, get back to me.
I call that a posh wank, Rockefeller.
You have woods? Every inch of my state is private property. I have to sneak into a cornfield to rub one out.
You have corn fields to sneak off to? Every inch of my state is solid concrete. I have to find an available dumpster.
You guys get to wank off at all? You’re wank billionaires, you ingrates! I never get any time for it with my girlfriend always demanding sex.
Pull yourselves up by your wank straps
you try and tell the young people of today that, and they won’t believe you