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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Tall_Standard_5302 on 2023-08-14 22:26:47+00:00.

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I recently started dating someone I’ve been friends with for a while. We are exclusive. We talked about our pasts, I’m no longer in touch with any of my exes, he is friends with a couple of exes. He says he no longer feels sexual attraction towards them.

I only met his most recent ex and I like her a lot but afaik they’re no longer in touch.

Yesterday my bf, a guy friend called Mark and his ex from a looong time ago (I never met her) went to the sauna. He texted me and we were talking about how I hate saunas where you have to be naked and I told him a funny story. He said that Mark and his ex didn’t go to the nude sauna with him and that he sadly hasn’t seen any attractive bodies there because all the attractive ones were in the clothed sauna.

I say: “Haha, so Mark and your ex?”

Bf: “Definitely not Mark!” And then he writes a lot about how Mark gained a lot of weight.

Me: “Oh so then the other one.”

Bf: “Have you ever been to ?”

So a complete change of subject. I want to discuss with him what his relationship with his ex is, what the boundaries are, and I really wanna have a healthy discussion around this because he was the one who didn’t like me mentioning exes (with whom I completely cut off contact anyway) and while we were just friends and he was in a relationship he was jealous that I was dating other guys. So pretty ironic.

TL;DR: unsure about how my bf feels about his ex and I wanna have a healthy discussion.