There’s a lot I’ve done lately to make him lose his mind. Handjob with a condom so he doesn’t feel my bare touch, riding his face while keeping him caged, and finishing it with orgasm, but without even letting him get hard, those last few sessions really messed up with his sanity. Obviously there is the horniness, but it’s not only just that, pretty early on in this journey I’ve figured that denial is most fun when it goes beyond just orgasm. His mind is programmed to need much more things than that. Of course not everybody might find this thrilling, but nothing is sexier for us. I think there are primal urges and also primal fears and somehow his mind is craving the conflict of those. 😈

I am not saying all of sexuality is about the penis, clearly, we have a lot of sex without it 🤭 but when I say primal urges I mean the need for strength, a big erect dick, to dominate, to prove your power, to fuck, cum and breed. Every one of those has its counter-fear … to be powerless, limp dicked, pussy-free, and denied from sex and even cumming. Going without orgasm is difficult, it’s like being hungry (or so I’ve been told🤭, maybe I should give it a try), but on its own, it’s just one feeling. There is a whole other world of him surrendering himself to me in so many other ways. Making him caged, is basically me telling him, using your penis is useless to me. Making him cum soft is me telling him I don’t need your erection. Not touching it with bare hands is just pure denial. And yet I am still here and his dick is my favorite toy. And his mind has to try to make some sense of it. 🤭

I said a few times, I share private videos, that I would love to watch even if somebody else were shooting them, or writing them for that matter, because I am often curious about the background of what’s happening. So, being the one deciding what’s going to happen and what I will make him go through, being so close to such intense emotions, and knowing I am the cause for all that mental anguish, there can’t be a better aphrodisiac. I love the intensity. 🥵

But denial works only when he knows exactly what’s he being denied. I love dangling that carrot in front of him, making him think he’s about to get a bite, but as soon as he gets a taste I flip it upside down. I give him hands full of carrots, and tell him, “no, I changed my mind, you feed me”. That’s how I imagine it must feel when I squat over his face and cum with his tongue licking my clit.

Anyway, to my session today. I was about to say, I wanted to give him a little bit of sanity back, to make him feel a bit more manly again. But we both know this isn’t a carrot he will get to bite. 🤭 So I may be just driving him further into submission. But at least he get to touch me, and his penis can finally feel like… well, like being a penis 😈 not just a soft blob of skin 🤭 He got to feel my pussy. I wanted him so close, that he could imagine I would let him slide in. I wanted him to think, that maybe I was so horny, that I would do it, even if just for a thrust or two. Well, I was actually dripping wet, you can tell by how mean I was. 🤭 But that also means I enjoy fucking his mind way more than anything his dick can do for me. So no, it was just a taste, so he knows exactly what there is to miss. To remind him of his fears and urges, to make him realize that he can’t possibly do better than this, even if it means getting his dick locked away.