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The waiter probably was conveying it’s not on the menu or is out of stock. No big deal…
Definitely not on the menu. Most people don’t have milk in their coffee in France, and oat milk is even rarer. The default coffee experience, a small black coffee, is vegan on its own.
But I can appreciate the frustration. Oat milk is cheap and has low environmental impact, it would be good for it to be offered more widely, regardless of taste.
But France have very good brands of plant based milk. Its not like they are against it.