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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/That_Technician_9244 on 2023-08-24 05:53:34.
I dated my ex-boyfriend “John” for four years, and got serious enough where we starting planning for our future (wedding, kids, etc.). I thought we were pretty happy, but last year he dumped me pretty suddenly. I tried to figure out what went wrong, but he said it was “personal” and that I should respect his space.
During this time, my best friend “Stacy” and her fiancé “Tom” were my rocks, letting me crash at their place and just being overwhelmingly supportive and loving. When Stacy asked me to be her maid-of-honor, I thought it was a no-brainer and happily took on the task.
Fast forward to what happened this weekend: the morning of the wedding, Tom asked me to meet him for breakfast super early in the AM before all of the festivities. I thought it was weird but assumed he maybe wanted me to pass something on to Stacy.
What happened instead was that Tom let me know that a few days prior, Stacy admitted to him that she had an affair with John, which was what lead to my breakup. He said that Stacy wanted to come clean to “start their marriage fresh”, and that he was forgiving her to move forward.
He had gone back and forth between telling me, and finally decided to spill the beans. I guess he had expected me to forgive Stacy too because the affair was “so long ago”. The opposite pretty much happened, and I just walked out on the wedding.
It ended up causing a huge mess because I was basically running the whole show (Stacy made me do everything, so she didn’t even know what was happening at certain times or who to call). Not only that, but everyone realized that the MOH wasn’t there (she had headshots and bios of the party on her wedding page), and news of the affair eventually got out because her cousin knew John.
Stacy and Tom have both been slandering me online now, saying that I ruined their once in a lifetime moment. Some of their friends are on their side, saying that I should have handled the situation more privately, and at least stuck out the wedding since it was so last minute. I personally don’t know what Tom expected, but either way I’ve been getting bombarded with texts and I heard that Stacy has been so upset she’s had to take time off work, which does make me feel like an AH. Especially since I’ve just been ignoring her calls.
She’s the asshole for banging your boyfriend. You probably could have handled it better, but I would have gone and then burned the place down, so who am I to talk?