I’ll go first ☺️ For me, this question is most relevant when I see a woman in real life who I find myself strongly attracted to some of or all of. For a while my answer’s been “unsure” or “both.” But the other day, I saw things a little differently.
Here are the things that most often trigger those strong attractions and questions for me: being feminine in public, dresses, leggings and a nice butt, nail polish, exposed (flat/toned) tummies, nice hair, nice curves. Hearing myself read this list out, it’s seldom the ‘whole girl’ I’m attracted to.
My insight was this: I realized that these things don’t matter too much to me in terms of selecting a long-term partner. I think some level of physical attraction to one’s partner is a good thing. But “yes/no, do I find this person physically attractive” is not the same as that strong level of physical attraction to relatively discrete feminine body parts, clothes, and behaviours I mentioned above. In fact, when it comes to longer-term partners, almost everything that’s important to me is about their character (or what’s between their ears), and these ultra-feminine things are not important.
I think reading the gender dysphoria bible was helpful for me in realizing this, because there’s a section that talks about if you’re raised a boy then you’re most likely taught that every time you look at a girl with interest it is sexual interest. Personally, I was unaware of what a strong hold that learning/ indoctrination had on me until recently.
I think this insight has probably made me a slightly more desirable partner for women. I know I’m attracted to women who are comfortable with their own femininity. But I don’t have any expectation that they conform to any beauty/gender standards they don’t personally see value in.
I’ll go first ☺️ For me, this question is most relevant when I see a woman in real life who I find myself strongly attracted to some of or all of. For a while my answer’s been “unsure” or “both.” But the other day, I saw things a little differently.
Here are the things that most often trigger those strong attractions and questions for me: being feminine in public, dresses, leggings and a nice butt, nail polish, exposed (flat/toned) tummies, nice hair, nice curves. Hearing myself read this list out, it’s seldom the ‘whole girl’ I’m attracted to.
My insight was this: I realized that these things don’t matter too much to me in terms of selecting a long-term partner. I think some level of physical attraction to one’s partner is a good thing. But “yes/no, do I find this person physically attractive” is not the same as that strong level of physical attraction to relatively discrete feminine body parts, clothes, and behaviours I mentioned above. In fact, when it comes to longer-term partners, almost everything that’s important to me is about their character (or what’s between their ears), and these ultra-feminine things are not important.
I think reading the gender dysphoria bible was helpful for me in realizing this, because there’s a section that talks about if you’re raised a boy then you’re most likely taught that every time you look at a girl with interest it is sexual interest. Personally, I was unaware of what a strong hold that learning/ indoctrination had on me until recently.
I think this insight has probably made me a slightly more desirable partner for women. I know I’m attracted to women who are comfortable with their own femininity. But I don’t have any expectation that they conform to any beauty/gender standards they don’t personally see value in.