So as my post says I’m pretty new to the bdsm world. I took this test when my partner first introduced it to me. She is a brat, princess, sub. Being a hard dom i felt didn’t come natural and felt awkward with it. She told me im more of a soft dom which is nice because thats what she likes and feels more like me.
I would like more guidance on soft doms and rigging. The rigging i do know i would say isn’t safe to use her since it’s used to detain prisoners. We do communicate and there is after care just sometimes i feel a bit lost.
Soft domming isn’t a very well defined category, so it’s going to be hard to give relevant and specific advice.
What u/RBWellsV23 says about leveraging your strengths is probably the best advice to get you anywhere. That way you’ll both play to your strengths, adapt to your partner’s feedback and remember to enjoy yourself.
Something I commonly find helps when trying out new soft techniques is exaggerated clarity. Hear me out, when trying new soft things you’re gonna have to use a model, no matter if it’s a rule, role, mindset or manipulation technique, you’re gonna have to understand it in something familiar and that you already have an idea of how to do. So lean into it a little, and try being like 10-30% more of that, it can feel like slightly overexaggerating or overclarifying, or maybe like stage projecting, you’ll feel a little awkward, but your partner is going to understand what you’re doing differently, it will stand out from the noise of other things you’re trying and you can actually play with it even before you’ve mastered the skill.
If you’re doing a “your brattiness won’t faze me” - thing, leaning into might be the difference between “I’m surviving this” and “you’re powerless here”.
If it’s building a scene towards a punishment, consider verbalising your steps “I think I’m gonna get my stingy flogger”, maybe even go slightly more villainous “oh, I’m gonna enjoy seeing your butt glow red, princess”. If non-verbal is more your speed, have them get the flogger, make them build a flogging station, correct them until it’s right, or whatever is +10-30% extra for you.
It’s a very useful tool for learning and trying new things, as you’ll very probably overestimate how much gets through to your partner. If you like subtlety, feel free to dial it back down to wherever you get the proper response.