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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/sharkbait913 on 2023-06-30 10:38:06+00:00.
People Involved:
- My GF: A (26F)
- My GF’s Sister: B (26F)
- My GF’s Sister’s BF: C (27M)
- My Roommate: D (32M)
- Me: E (28M)
Story:
A week or two ago A called me and said “Hey, B wants to use your house to throw a party for C”. This is because my house has a large backyard and a pool. I told A that D was coming into town that day for a meeting and that I would have to ask him.
D asked me; Do you trust A and B with this? He also said he didn’t want a massive party of people him or myself don’t know.
I have two dogs that are friendly but very high energy. I had told A that I would take them to a pet resort overnight so they wouldn’t interfere with the party or complicate it. Neither A or B ever offered to cover the costs involved with that and it made me start thinking; “It would be nice to not have to lodge them for parties like this”.
Yesterday, A asked me what time I had planned on taking them over to the pet resort, which is a 45 minute drive each way. I told her that I decided to let them stay for the party so I could acclimate them to parties at the house. A got upset and said that me making this decision without her approval was frustrating, especially the day before the party. She also said that this was her and B’s party and it’s not my place to make decisions like that.
She said, with so many people coming over it would be unfair and stressful for everyone coming to the party and for the dogs.
That confused me, because there were only supposed to be 10 people total here. To me that wasn’t that many so now that she’s stating so many people are coming, I asked if there was a change to the original 10. She claimed “A lot more people are coming” but could not associate a number.
She then explained how rude, frustrating, and important of a change I made on my own. To which I responded with, “It’s my house and my dogs, if I want them to be here then it should be okay for them to be here”. She told me I wasn’t listening to her point and that’s when I got upset with the headcount.
She told me the amount of people doesn’t matter and I shouldn’t be annoyed or frustrated with that. She then told me that she wouldn’t care about that at all if I did that at her house.
She then told me that this is her and B’s party that how I’m being rude and I shouldn’t be making changes that effect their party and their friends. I responded out of frustration with, “Well it’s mine and D’s house that you’re throwing this party at, so I think it’s very rude how you’re acting”. She then hung up.
I took yesterday and today off work to get the house set up for this party. I’ve been cleaning the house to make sure it’s presentable. Not once have either A or B offered to come and help with setting up or cleaning either the house or backyard nor offered to cover any of the costs I’m incurring by hosting this party. They even asked me to go out any buy stuff for their party.
Not entirely the asshole.
You did tactically agree to the party or at least didn’t say anything against it. After that, they increasingly become the asshole and just kinda expect you to do everything based on what you’re saying
How is he at all the asshole? He agreed to 10 people, that’s not tacitly agreeing to anything more than that.