In an effort to make this more of a community than a Tumblr-copy, I’m inviting us all to create more posts with questions, discussion and all the other goodness we can share with each other.
As such I’d like to propose a topic that’s dear to me:
Shibari learning.
How did you learn what you know about Shibari? How would you have wished to learn?
Is there difference in playing with someone with formal learning vs not?
What did you learn from formal learning? What are you missing/insecure about from your informal learning?
Feel free to tackle one or more of the questions, as well as take a few minutes to interact with others.
For myself, I started learning on the Internet, and for years trawled FetLife and various “Bondage University” sites before joining the local Shibari scene.
I got into it through a course, and started hanging out with my course friends at scene socials, where we would play socially with each other as well as others in the community.
When in the larger community, I eventually got got goaded by the “well you can do it that way, but that’s not true Shibari”-elitism and started taking more classes and also some formal tuition. As I was lucky enough to have the means and time, I also travelled around Europe to meet the Japanese teachers and their disciples whenever they were visiting, and wherever they had set up their schools.
I did learn a lot, especially about the business side of teaching and touring, but also about techniques, approached, philosophies and knowledge structures. I learned how to learn faster, as well as organise the concepts and find the non-compatibilities of styles, where the prerequisites were exclusionary.
What I was surprised at was how poor many of these masters and skilled practicioners were at risk/safety consciousness (probably because they are relying on their own skill to solve the situation, rather than teach self reliance). And also how so few of the professionals could teach of the sensual/playful approach.
With hindsight I can see that making your pleasures your job is a surefire way to extinguish any pleasure they held.
But in these two aspects, most communities I’ve come across are more than able to step up, and both facilitate discussion, challenge norms, as well as provide opportunity and inspiration to delve deeper in the pleasurable, heartfelt interaction of community and pleasure alike.
Today, I feel comfortable enough to know that “true Shibari” is a myth. There are styles, there are regional variations, there is “historically correct/authentic”, but all of them are stupid and useless, as true Shibari comes from whatever you share in your sessions, with whatever choices, pleasures and hotness you’re able to express there.
I will still happily share and learn, but find I’m more often surprised by beginners than masters these days. And instead I try to enjoy and take inspiration from the individual expression in whatever they are willing to share with me.