Edit: Last night she attempted suicide. I was in the living room while she was showering. She got out of the shower, went to the bedroom, and about 10 minutes later I heard her call my name. She was holding a large handful of her medicine in one hand, and the bottle in the other. She told me she almost took it, but decided to get help instead. Suffice to say, both of us are dealing with a lot right now. She asked me not to tell anyone, but I am trying to persuade her to get mental healthcare.

So yesterday morning, while my girlfriend and I were sleeping in our new apartment, we heard some rustling at the door. This was around 8 AM or so. I heard him call out “maintenance” very faintly from the other side of the door.

I was partially awake and called out to the guy after glancing my gf’s way in a “is this guy for real?” look.

Guy apologized and left the apartment after he heard me. At the time, she said she was “glad I was there”.

I spoke to him later and he apologized profusely and said he wasn’t aware someone had moved in already. I figured that would be the end of it. No harm, no foul.

Last night, my girlfriend informed me that I didn’t handle that correctly. She said her dad would’ve been up and ready to fight the guy, and that by glancing her way I must’ve been asking her to protect me.

Despite us discussing a proposal now that we’re 2 years in, she let me know she doesn’t think I should “this year, but that she may change her mind”.

I’m honestly baffled. Was I supposed to shoot the maintenance man or something?

It has me reconsidering the relationship. One perceived mistake–that I honestly think I handled fine–and she’s putting our plans on ice.

She’s been mean leading up to this. She blames her cycle (and apologizes each time), but it’s a pretty extreme mood shift for a few days each month. So part of me wonders if these 2 things are related, and she’ll regret saying that to me. Another part wonders if I should forgive her in the first place.

What do y’all think? How big of a mess am I in?

  • @[email protected]OP
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    710 months ago

    I thought you were really insightful and I just wanted to give you an update because, if I was lost before, I’m really fucking lost now.

    Last night she attempted suicide. I am reading these from my couch while we sort out what the fuck to do.

    She went to the bedroom while I was reading on the couch around 8:30 after she took a shower. Within 5-10 minutes she called my name. I came in and she had a bottle.of her pills in one hand, and enough of them to kill a horse in the other.

    She was shaking, but pretty numb when I gently took the bottle and pills out of her hands and held her. It took probably another 15-20 minutes for her to say anything else. Then she started sobbing.

    This is the first time I’ve witnessed a suicide attempt, so I’m shaken up.

    Anyway, thank you for the advice. It was thought provoking and I’m going to pick my way through it while I cope.

    • @[email protected]
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      1810 months ago

      Brother, I’m sorry to say but I think you need to get out of that situation. Right now. I’ve been in a relationship like that and it never ends well.