• @[email protected]
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        1410 months ago

        Alternate ending:

        A small, innocuous looking bat takes the form of DRACULA behind CHARACTER 1 and CHARACTER 2

        DRACULA: Why the fuck would I need a jetpack? How did you morons forget about the bat thing? It’s been part of my image for like, a hundred years.

        • @[email protected]
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          810 months ago

          Alternate alternate:

          Character 1 sees Dracula turn into a bat and fly into another tower in the distance. Chooses to keep that information to themself for no particular reason.

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        1010 months ago

        I feel like this is personally attacking Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and that movie deserves nothing but accolades.

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      710 months ago

      You know I’ve seen every other mainline Star Wars and several of the one-offs and TV shows but I never got around to this one and I haven’t really felt like I missed out.

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      110 months ago

      This thing again. Palpatine is in a room full of cloning tanks talking about having unnatural powers. Next scene characters mention cloning and dark powers. It’s just Poe doesn’t know how it happened (he’s not omniscient) and doesn’t much care. Fascism returned and he’s going to fight against it, that’s all he needs to know.

      It’s explained but the hot take internet reactions missed it. And then memes were created to brag about being to stupid to understand something that happened in a Star Wars movie that a child could understand.

      Somehow you don’t understand what things mean in a Star Wars movie. Congratulations!

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        10 months ago

        Somehow all efforts from episode 4-6 were in vain and Anakin wasn’t the chosen one again because throwing Palpatine into the death star core didn’t have any impact on anything. Somehow they made everything Luke, Leia und Han achived pointless. Somehow cloning was easily achievable with some dark powers and somehow Palpatine cloned himself and chilled for a few dozen years. Somehow Palpatine was a father and somehow Rei was his granddaughter.

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          410 months ago

          Yes just like my Grandfather fought in WWII in vain because fascism has returned to our world.

          Except the fact that evil can return doesn’t actually mean opposing evil is in vain.

          Also, you may be slightly not getting the point of Star Wars if you think that we’re supposed to believe Anakin is the chosen one and everyone is supposed to respect his greatness. Yes this is what Anakin believed of himself, but how did that go for him?

          Luke was meant to kill his evil father (or rule at his side), it was his destiny. Luke refused that destiny, how did that work out for him? Pretty good until the real evil Empire (the Disney Corporation) came along.

          Star Wars isn’t really about making prophecies come true. It’s about rejecting them and finding a better way.

          You’re a Star Wars fan, you’re meant to reject the fascist ideals of past greatness, not conform to them! Have a balanced take on Star Wars, not leave it in darkness!

          I know from your point of view JJ Abrams is evil, But only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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            210 months ago

            Counterpoint: several flashy videos on the Internet told me that space samurai wisard films are bad now because there is a mean woman there and no kinky costumes.