Hi c/BDSM community!
Because the prior mods were inaccessible and unresponsive for months on end, admins have decided to appoint a new moderator. That would be me. I’m going to sticky this post for a while for community members to comment about what direction they’d like for this community. But I’d like to make some suggestions here too.
BDSM is as generic a term for all-encompassing kink as one gets. It’s a general term. A place where an interactive community should naturally form. So, while I support posting porn here, I’d like to also suggest an openness to community based material. That’s why I posted a blog entry by @[email protected] yesterday about her subby side enjoying ‘good girl’ praise. I think this community could do with more of that kind of material.
Along with that, I want to talk about c/BDSM becoming a true safe space for women, trans persons, and subs of all sorts. We cannot have a general kink community forum without kinksters. And we cannot encourage kinky subs to contribute if we let a slim minority of assholes in the community mistreat them.
Anyone who exposes themselves emotionally or physically will have the mod team’s 100% support. No kink shaming, no body shaming, no cruelty allowed. Period. That goes for male, female, and nonbinary; subs and Dom(mes).
Along with that, I’d like to offer mod positions, or some kind of community guidance role as wished, to women (Domme or sub) so they feel they have real input about how this place is run.
I mean, a male dominated BDSM community is plain at odds with basic kinkster ethics.
This doesn’t mean I envision c/BDSM to become LemmyNSFW’s c/subsanctuary. As a Dom, I really shouldn’t be involved in a community like that. But what it does mean is that subs of all sorts should feel safe and welcome to contribute here.
Opinions? Please feel free to express yourselves. Even if you disagree. I’m listening.
ADDENDUM:
To clarify, by seeking women’s, trans, and sub voices in how the BDSM community is run, I do not mean to imply this should therefore exclude male voices. This is not a zero sum game.
ADDENDUM TWO
while I very much agree with beeing inclusive to all genders, only allowing a single gender, women, to be moderators is not very inclusive
I also disagree that a male mod would be at odds with ethical kink. you will have to vet mods, regardless of the gender they say they are. people lie on the internet, frequently (note: this isnt transphobia, but how could you possibly verify that the woman you are speaking to isnt in reality a male identifying cishet?)
I didn’t say I would exclude men. I’m male. I said I think the community could use female voices too. Excluding women from roles with authority and standing is what I mean by being the antithesis of ethical kink.
I don’t exclude the possibility of other male moderators. But I do think more female and sub voices would be helpful here. Because very often they’re chased away with aggressive demands by men who want to be first in line.
Do you think women’s voices are well represented at LemmyNSFW and in the fediverse in general? I don’t. And IMO: We’ll never attract women as serious contributors and community members as long as they remain excluded from real input.
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Calling to be inclusive to women does not exclude men. But sure, I’ll clarify. Still, I have to say, the slightest suggestion women should be included in community management sure does get a lot of male panties knotted in a bunch.
thank you for this clarification. that makes me feel much more accepted and welcome here.
I wrote my initial comment because it felt like it deliberately excluded men. I do agree that other gender and sexes should also be able to be moderators of course.
I want to apologize too because I apparently misinterpreted your post a bit. But you have successfully restored my faith in you as the new owner of this community
You’re welcome, u/cactusupyourbutt! Enjoy the new c/BDSM!
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You’re being argumentative. If you’re this unhappy with the decision, the exit is at the unsubsubscribe and block button. Feel free to use it.
I sense a flurry of snowflakes triggered by the thought women might become more than mere nude spectacle for the entertainment of men round these parts. 😆
nah, I just didnt want to feel deliberately excluded (which was a misinterpretation on my part), thats all
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