Put a gun to your head and pull the trigger = going to Hell

Free solo a mountain and lose your grip and die = going to Heaven or Hell?

Getting addicted to Fentanyl and dying = going to Heaven or Hell?

    • SuperDuper
      20•5 months ago

      Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.”

      I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.”

      I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.”

      I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.”

      I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

      I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

      I said, “Me, too!” Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

    • FaceDeer
      12•5 months ago

      It’s very convenient that God always seems to hate the same people you do.