Especially when you are in the field of sadomaso/masochism, the degree of what is feasible always depends on your own point of view. If you are new to the topic, start slowly. You look for someone you trust. No matter how well you fit together (in first place), in terms of the kinks and situations, you want to live out together, trust is the absolute basis for everything.

SM does not mean stupidly inflicting pain or simply enduring it. SM means, among other things, to enjoy, to feel the body and its limits. You can only do that with someone who is able to feel this limit as you do yourself. You put yourself in these arms, you trust him/her blindly. And only when this condition is created do you approach these limits.

I found this picture here/Source, it’s not mine but I admire it. The woman in this picture doesn’t look used. Her look is what fascinates me. Strong. She has expression. She’s naked, humiliated by the body writing, but she radiates the complete opposite to me. For me it is a symbol that painful situations under controlled conditions can make you even stronger. I’m not saying this is a call to do it to everyone without being asked. NO! However, under the conditions described above, I believe that playing with the limits that our body and mind impose on us can be very appealing.

For those who associate her father with “Daddy”, it should be said that this is not meant. It’s much more suggestive that her dom is older than she is, able to take on a fatherly, nurturing role. For me, therefore, a symbol for the correct handling of power imbalances. Not stupid, but playful kinky.

The community here was not created by me or other current moderators. But we have the subject in our hearts. And not from the brutal role, but from the power imbalance, in which brutality is sometimes part. I would therefore like to make my contribution to speaking meaningfully and at eye level about this topic in this community. I don’t want that kind of sexual orientation to be dismissed as pathological and stupid. Something you don’t say.

I want this place to be the place to talk about the ideas, thoughts, practices. You don’t have to live out everything that you find attractive in mind. The golden rule is always to abide by the law and boundaries of the other person. But under these conditions, something can emerge that becomes bigger than oneself. And THAT, I admire.

  • b9999998
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    1 year ago

    You said it absolutely right. When a right Dom and someone like you who is totally aware of the dynamics get together, sparks will totally fly.

    I enjoy the mental part of bdsm very much

    Same here for me - IRL, I doubt I could actually wield a whip and be truly “brutal”

    • VioletM
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      21 year ago

      Well then there will be fireworks in september. He’s finally moving from the states to Belgium.

      • b9999998
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        21 year ago

        Awesome - happy for you 🙂

        • VioletM
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          31 year ago

          I do enjoy and have practiced more brutal play. Im not into extreme pain, im more into service. There is a difference with real painsluts who get of on just the pain. I get of on the suffering for someone, i want to fulfill their kink to the best of my abilities. The extreme emotions and the catharsis afterwards mmm. It can be amazing with the right person.

          • b9999998
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            21 year ago

            If you are willing to do here, I would be interested to know an example or two of the “brutal play” and some details re “suffering for someone” you have done. Or feel free to message instead if this thread is too public. Thanks.

            • VioletM
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              21 year ago

              Ive enjoyed our convo on matrix very much this morning 😘