Hello,

Lately I have been overwhelmed with my schedule, finances and social life. I am always trying to improve my mental health. With all of this stress I am considering therapy, mainly for someone to talk, to process all my thoughts, and maybe help me develop ideas or come up with strategies to cope better. I have ADHD, Autism, and some other things if that helps anyone relate.

I have three main questions:

Has therapy helped you enough to be worth the time?

Is it very difficult to find a therapist you mesh with?

How do I find a therapist? From a doctor’s referral? Online service? Through insurance? (I live in the United States.)

Any experience or advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated!

Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone for your help and support! I hope everyone is doing well and has seen positive changes. And I hope all these replies help other people besides myself. I’m feeling more positive and hopeful toward finding the right therapist. Your kindness is appreciated!

  • @[email protected]
    4•1 year ago

    From my experience:

    1. It depends on the therapist. Ultimately what I got out of it is heavily based on what I put into it. If I just showed up and said everything was fine when it wasn’t, that obviously didn’t help. If I didn’t do the “homework”, that didn’t help. If I was bullshitting and the therapist knew I was and didn’t call me on it, that didn’t help. At one point I was struggling with religion, and having a therapist say I just needed to pray more didn’t help.

    2. It can be, but if you have an understanding of what you’re looking for it can be helpful. For example:

    • I prefer therapists who follow the school of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) over almost any other kind. If they follow psychoanalytical methods I probably won’t mesh with them. If you like a particular school, go with that.
    • Are you religious or does it play a big role in your life? If not, it might be useful to find one that is friendly to atheists or doesn’t mention religion or spiritual guidance as a big part of their approach.
    • You mention you have ADHD and autism, finding therapists with focus/experience on those can be helpful. Same if you need help with a particular topic like familial relationships, sex, addiction, etc.
    • Are you a part of any other groups? If you’re not straight, going to a therapist that “supports diversity” or has similar sentences in their bio can help.
    • Are you more open over video? If so, a therapist that does video visits may help.
    1. My insurance covers mental health benefits, so I go to their site and find a provider. They usually have filters for main approach, specialties, etc. You should double check they’re taking new patients and take your insurance because sometimes that changes fast. I usually find a few I’m interested in and email them asking any questions. If we both seem ok, we move forward and schedule something.

    Don’t give up if you don’t find someone immediately, it can take a few to find one you vibe with. Best of luck!

    • @[email protected]OP
      3•1 year ago

      Thank you for such a thorough response!

      I’m glad you mentioned a couple different methods therapists might use. I didn’t think of looking for traits that could be categorized, and I agree that I would probably also benefit more from CBT type therapy where I have some tool to implement daily.

      I didn’t think about religion as a factor. I am not religious and I do feel it would be unhelpful to add that into the discussion as it might complicate an already long list of thoughts I have. That is a great suggestion.

      All these specifics are really helping me form a picture of what types of therapists may be available.

      Thank you so much for your help!

      • Chetzemoka
        4•1 year ago

        I just wanted to add on to this great advice, because your specifically asked if it was worth it. The things I learned from Cognitive Behavior Therapy more than 20 years ago have stuck with me all my life and prevented me from falling back into old, toxic patterns of thinking.

        So yes, for me at least it was definitely worth it.

        • @[email protected]OP
          2•1 year ago

          That’s great to hear! I definitely think CBT is something I want to focus on so I have more tools in my toolbox.

      • @[email protected]
        1•1 year ago

        Sure thing!

        For what it’s worth, if you tell a therapist you’re not religious/not interested in pursuing that it should be respected. It’s just a topic I’ve had a lot of issues with before so I usually ask if they follow “an evidence-based approach” up front, which I’ve had good luck with.

        The best therapist I had was very religious herself and had a large cross tattoo, but respected my lack of belief and only brought up religion as it related to the issues I was working through.

        So not a dealbreaker but just something I personally look for :) most I’ve seen are fine working with both religious and non-religious people.

        • @[email protected]OP
          1•1 year ago

          Thanks for clarifying! I’m glad I know now that it’s something they will take into account, and I like that you figured out what to ask them specifically about their methodologies.

          That’s great to hear that many seem to be respectful of boundaries and preferences. I’m glad you found a good one!