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I recommend the book “no bad parts” by Dr Richard Schwartz
It’s an accessible read that answers your question.
In short, the parts of us we hide or choose to deny (the cartman parts) still have desires and needs
I don’t need to read a book to make me okay with chopping someone’s family up and feeding them to the surviving member as a form of revenge, thanks tho.
The point is to be okay with the part of us that wants to.
It’s not about giving permission for bad behaviour.
If we deny that cartman lives inside us, he’ll find another way out. This is why all the worst things humanity does are in the name of doing the right thing.
Because we pretend we don’t have a cartman inside us, it’s easy to pretend the messed up things he does must be coming from our stan or Kyle.