The only reason I stopped using “girl” as a descriptor was because I stopped using “boy”. And I stopped using “boy” because I learned white bigots use the word in a derogatory and demeaning way against black men, and i didn’t want to accidentally demean a friend or coworker.

I likely would eventually have stopped using “girl” as I began to understand more about relative power dynamics and the implications of using diminutive language on adults. That being said, when you grow up hearing language used a certain way, you didn’t really think about it’s use as an adult until someone brings it to your attention.

Or at least that’s my experience. But I generally think the best of people until contrary evidence presents itself. Like if they use blatant bigoted speech, or drive on the same road I’m driving on. Then I know they’re hateful, awful people that should be eliminated from the gene pool.