I’m not talking about any facial-hair style that includes a beard. I’m talking about these guys who have brought back the “just a moustache, and it’s a really ugly, really creeper-ish moustache” style.

You see this shit on influencers, pro sports players in every league, random motherfuckers working at Wal-Mart, random dudes out in public, professionals in all industries, and anywhere else you can think of. Just everywhere. It seems to cut across all social strata. I particularly see this shit on white dudes, but maybe a lot of Black, Latino, and Asian dudes are doing it, too, and I just haven’t noticed as much, because (I guess this could be controversial???) it just doesn’t look nearly as bad on those guys.

But these young white dudes, rocking the 1970s creepo 'stache really are everywhere AND I JUST DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.

Guys, it’s fucking hideous. It looks good on NOBODY. Occasionally, you’ll see a guy with one of these, and he’s just so naturally, GQ-cover handsome that he powers through the debuff, and still looks okay. But that same guy would look EVEN BETTER if he didn’t have a horrible moustache.

Please stop. I don’t know if this is some kind of ironic thing, or if it started as an ironic thing, only to become normalized. But just please stop.

Especially stop, if you legit cannot grow a moustache. Either shave that shit or pair it with a beard of some description. Obviously, I’m an asshole for telling you what to do with your face, but as a middle-aged guy, I just feel like saying this shit, as advice if nothing else.

I remember when ugly-ass, creepy-ass moustaches were still in fashion, in the 1980s. They were awful and ugly. And then people regained their sanity. But then, somehow, that shit came back, about ten or twelve years ago. And that shit needs to be sent back to fashion hell.

  • @ChillDude69OP
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    53 months ago

    I’ll give you the exact guy that pushed me over the edge, and made me have to say this shit. Jake Oettinger, professional ice hockey goalie, with the Dallas Stars. 25 years of age. Here’s two pictures, one with a full beard and one with the awful 'stache that he sometimes wears. He sometimes goes clean-shaven, too. But I can’t be bothered to find a good pic of him that way. Anyway, here:

    • @[email protected]
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      83 months ago

      Holy shit that’s a stark difference.

      Dude went from normal whatever to PREDATOR driving a white windowless van.

      • @ChillDude69OP
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        33 months ago

        Right? It’s kinda mind-blowing. Although, now that I think about it even more closely, through a hockey lens, I think maybe I know where the trend started.

        Quite a few years back, people started doing this “Movember” (Moustache-November, I guess) thing. I’ve forgotten if it was supposed to be attached to some kind of cause, or something. Anyway, that was a big thing in at least some NHL teams. It was probably a big thing in a bunch of other places. And I wonder if it was something that encouraged some of these young dudes to grow a 'stache, for the first time.

        And then, as we’ve discussed in this thread already, the young fellas came up during the time period when the just-a-moustache look had completely died off, so they were never exposed to the negative stereotypes and associations that it has. So to them, it’s just a look they might adopt, on a whim.

        And then us old people give them grief about it. I guess that really is a dick move.

    • Teon
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      3 months ago

      The specific issue with this person is, hair color does not match mustache. And he is one of those people where facial hair looks bad on him.
      Way too many men (and some women) think they can get away with facial hair, they can’t. Not every person can rock every trend, it’s why we are individuals.
      I HATE facial hair on 99% of men. It’s always scraggly, sparse, not well maintained or cut into some weird ZZ Top or flat bottomed Groomsman hipster look from the 1860’s.
      And I am always shocked when a really hot dude hides his face behind a beard that makes him look like he was stranded on a deserted island for 10 years. Why would you hide that face???
      Same goes for hot bods, can your clothes get anymore unflattering?? Why even go to the gym.
      end rant - - -