• @[email protected]
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    288 months ago

    Yes, my wife and I considered not for environmental reasons. My parents thought we were nuts citing the threat of nuclear war when they were kids and everyone continuing to have kids then. They’ve come around to understand our hesitation now, mostly, but it was distressing that they couldn’t understand , if not agree, with hesitating.

    Of course, the environment is just one thing that gives us pause these days. People are crazy. Politicians and the laws they create are (or the dissolution of certain laws is) crazy. Plenty of reasons to pause.

    • Flying SquidM
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      178 months ago

      We did have a child, and I do not regret it, but we also have the means to support her and a way to escape the U.S. if things get much worse. Many Americans don’t have either option, and no child should be neglected or abused and every child should have a robust support system. I wish we would encourage and educate people on contraception on a grand scale.

      • @[email protected]
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        58 months ago

        My wife travels a lot for work, and I dabbled in genealogy years ago to track down my own birth relatives. By combining the two, my wife and our daughter now have EU passports, and I’m eligible for a long-term visa.

        Theoretically I could be eligible for Slovakian citizenship (which is not their EU country) based on my own DNA ties, but that would require some mental gymnastics and a very progressive interpretation of how closed infant adoption affects legal rights.

        I am actually very fond of Texas, and I think the idea of it is worth fighting for, and that there’s a strain of tolerance and hospitality and diversity here that could be compatible with a much more progressive worldview. I have hope that it can be better than it is. I think any place with people who love it is worth trying to make into the best version of itself, to say nothing of the people who couldn’t leave even if they wanted to…

        but we’re also not going to be the last ones out if we lose that hope.

          • @[email protected]
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            18 months ago

            You need a grand-grandparent (or more recent) born in Slovakia. My biological great grandmother was born in a small town in the eastern half of what is now Slovakia, and immigrated to the US in the late 1920s. I was adopted as an infant though, so my legal family has no such connections, and while I could try to make my case, it would be both circumstantial and rather technical unless I could get help from my birth father, which is, shall we say, unlikely.

            • @[email protected]
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              8 months ago

              Interesting. My grandmother was.

              I’ve wondered what my options to get to the EU are if I really wanted. That…is interesting.

              Edit: do you have a source by any chance? So far I only see rules allowing if parents were Slovakian citizens.

              • @[email protected]
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                18 months ago

                The Australian embassy seems to have updated their page more recently than the US or Canada, and they mention the grandparents and great grandparents thing. I’d check with the US embassy (assuming you’re in the US) to confirm, but it looks like the long-discussed law change did happen. I kinda lost interest when I realized the doors I’d have to barge in to have a plausible chance of success. YMMV. :-)

      • @[email protected]
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        38 months ago

        Yes, the same here. We had 2 kids (and then a vasectomy). We’re not rich, but we do have a house we could sell to aid leaving, and we have enough in savings to make it without selling the house, if we needed to leave right away. Of course, environmental issues will be a global problem, but the response to those will likely be better in some places as compared to others.

        • Flying SquidM
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          118 months ago

          Not if Trump is president. My daughter is queer, she and I are both Jewish, and my wife is a librarian. They either want us to be part of their genocide or, in my wife’s case, in prison.

          I have dual citizenship with the UK and also theoretically German citizenship. And I am sure as hell going to take advantage of that depending on what happens in November. I don’t even care about me, I care about my daughter.

          • Nougat
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            8 months ago

            Well, as I’ve said before, Illinois is close, and probably easier to get to on short notice if necessary. I’m a ways north of you (in IL), but my home is available to you if you find yourself in danger.

            Edit: And you’d be coming this way anyway to fly overseas out of O’Hare, right?

            • Flying SquidM
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              38 months ago

              Honestly, I’d probably drive somewhere less prominent and fly out from there. No reason to attract attention if you’re fleeing. But I appreciate the offer.

            • Flying SquidM
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              38 months ago

              That’s really awesome of him! I don’t care whether it was being friendly or officially announcing it. Either way, that’s amazing!

      • @[email protected]
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        38 months ago

        Quick note though, one child is still far below replacement rate. Though you didn’t state if you’re one and done or not.

        • Flying SquidM
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          58 months ago

          True, and we were definitely one and done and now my wife is 46, so it would be way too risky. We wouldn’t have been able to financially support a child and I didn’t want to end up having a favorite, which sure happened with me and my brother who could do no wrong despite being a major asshole. I wouldn’t want to have a favorite, but I wouldn’t be able to prevent it either. And I wouldn’t want to have more than one kid if it turned out I thought one was better than the other. That could lead to proper child care issues.

          Also, raising just the one has been a herculean effort due to all sorts of things, so I don’t regret it. I love her more than anything in the world and I don’t regret any of the effort I’ve made, but I don’t know that I would have been able to handle two such kids on a mental level.