Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.
I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.
Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.
Are we doing pain olympics? Just because someone has it better or less immediately noticeable doesn’t mean it’s less valid. It might be less extreme but telling they don’t have trust issues because you saw someone die doesn’t help anyone.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. Being regularly expected to be and treated like a gullible idiot by people who have power over you isn’t fun either.
Just because it wouldn’t be traumatizing to you doesn’t mean it cannot be traumatizing. Different people have different levels of tolerance. If you harass and humiliate your child by making up bullshit tasks for them to do, they might grow up with trust issues that at least partially stem from you, an authority figure, lying to them and treating them with disrespect for your own entertainment. If that were the only bad thing you ever did to your kid, maybe it would be an overreaction, but behaviors like that don’t usually exist in isolation - if you’re bullying your kid for fun, it’s probably not a one-off.
You can try to rationalize to yourself that your behavior is okay, but it won’t make your adult children visit for the holidays again. Childhood trauma can be healed, usually by cutting the shitty people from your childhood out of your life and learning to love and trust yourself and the family you choose.
Tl;Dr: If you want your kids to love and respect you when they grow up, treat them with love and respect when they’re kids.
Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.
I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.
Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.
Removed by mod
Are we doing pain olympics? Just because someone has it better or less immediately noticeable doesn’t mean it’s less valid. It might be less extreme but telling they don’t have trust issues because you saw someone die doesn’t help anyone.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. Being regularly expected to be and treated like a gullible idiot by people who have power over you isn’t fun either.
Just because it wouldn’t be traumatizing to you doesn’t mean it cannot be traumatizing. Different people have different levels of tolerance. If you harass and humiliate your child by making up bullshit tasks for them to do, they might grow up with trust issues that at least partially stem from you, an authority figure, lying to them and treating them with disrespect for your own entertainment. If that were the only bad thing you ever did to your kid, maybe it would be an overreaction, but behaviors like that don’t usually exist in isolation - if you’re bullying your kid for fun, it’s probably not a one-off.
You can try to rationalize to yourself that your behavior is okay, but it won’t make your adult children visit for the holidays again. Childhood trauma can be healed, usually by cutting the shitty people from your childhood out of your life and learning to love and trust yourself and the family you choose.
Tl;Dr: If you want your kids to love and respect you when they grow up, treat them with love and respect when they’re kids.