What’s your experience with a power exchange or D/s dynamic where the main purpose is for keeping on track of your goals?
Obviously there are a ton of different ways to have an accountability buddy, but I would like to hear about people’s experience with it as a dynamic.
I am personally somewhat interested, but my neurospicey has it so that whenever anyone tries to tell me what to do or to keep me on track I suddenly find the task absolutely loathsome. So when my partner (and Dom) and I tried to add this accountability (like them making sure I made doctor appointments, took time for writing, or other things) to our dynamic, I quickly found it too irritating. The idea of it however, still sounds interesting… but maybe just not with a romantic partner???
I would love to hear from those who are also neurospicy or are with someone who is and if they were able to find such a dynamic helpful/ enjoyable.
Love that * stop using subtext*!
Subtext hits differently day to day. Like what might seem coy or domineering (in a good way), may seem obtuse or bullying the next. Many people with ADHD struggle with Rejection Sensitivity Disorder (RSD) and if it’s particularly nasty one day it can negativity color all interactions.
So what can also be helpful are reassurances to both top and bottom. “Yes, I love you and your authority, I’m just being a brat.” Or “No, you aren’t annoying me and I’m not actually upset/ disappointed, I’m just emphasizing my authority.”
I don’t know that I would go so far as to say constant reassurance is necessary as a general ADHD rule. For example with myself, if I receive unnecessary reassurance I’ll interpret it as patronizing and insincere, push back, and anxiety spiral. Everyone is different though and in the usual BDSM mantra, communication is the key element.