So I’m not sure if I can or should continue my relationship with my fiance or try to fix things. We’ve been together for two years now. When we first started dating they said that they were working on finishing their masters degree but they have not done so. They also said they’d be going back to work after they finished their degree. They have just been running through their savings and staying at home. They do most of the chores but the house is often a bit of a mess. Now they’re saying that they want to wait until after kids to go back to work. My family also thinks it is a bad idea to marry them.
Do you currently have kids together? What is the timeline for these things? Its a lot of time to have two people living off of a single income especially if you two aren’t married yet
Not currently. But as soon as we get married.
If you are having doubts about marriage be careful about having kids right away. Once you have kids you are locked with that person forever. If they aren’t fully pulling their weight now having kids won’t make that any easier. These are serious issues that need to be considered before getting married and having kids. Wedding and then having children is a huge financial, mental and physical burden.
How does the work load work currently for wedding planning? How about the workload for pregnancy and child rearing? Have you talked about it or are you assuming it based on gender roles? These are all important decisions to make together as a team. If they can’t finish school or even work its difficult to see them doing their fair share or if they aren’t working doing more than their fair share of domestic labor. (Which is real difficult labor and should be counted as such as a couple)