A while ago, I read something about how back in the day, people would spend half of their evenings “thinking about sleep” and not really doing anything, talking about it like wasted time when you could be doing more fulfulling things. So it’s weird to me to hear that people are recommending two whole hours of this.
As someone who doesn’t have ADHD, here’s what works for me*: No heavy metal or intense video gaming right before bed. I usually just take one final scroll through the front page of Lemmy before I go to bed. And I leave my phone at my desk - that part seems more important. Studies have found it’s harder to fall asleep while looking at a screen. I learned this a while ago and thought it was a no-brainer, then was surprised over the years to learn how many people are literally scrolling through their phones while they’re trying to sleep. If you can give that up*, you’ll fall asleep easier, and if your phone is out of arm’s reach of your bed, your alarm clock will be much more effective in the morning.
*I can’t even guess how easy this would be to pull off with ADHD. Maybe it’s about as easy as it is for anyone else (which may not be all that easy tbf,) maybe it’s borderline impossible. If it’s the latter, sorry, I don’t have any ADHD-specific advice.
Always appreciate someone who doesn’t have adhd coming in and giving advice like they have it all figured out. You might as well just say, have you tried not having adhd?
Yeah, I know it’s not necessarily going to be applicable. That’s why I gave two asterisks pointing to a disclaimer about exactly that.
Anyways, the point of my comment was more to talk about my thoughts and experiences regarding sleep routines, and the fact that the “two hours of nothing stimulating before bed” is incredibly alien even to me, as a person who doesn’t have ADHD.
Not everything is about or for you, you don’t always have to chip in, and this is a perfect example of a time where you actually have nothing of much value to contribute to the conversation so should just taken a seat and listen (if you must. Again - some things simply aren’t for you and it’s ok to move on without piping up).
You are literally being the top person in the meme who doesn’t get it. We face several of you a day every single day of our lives.
I hope you take this opportunity to learn and do better in the future, instead of trying to justify, and continuing to centre yourself in conversations that aren’t for you.
I’m sorry about the experiences you’ve faced that are justifying this anger.
I just like to join in conversations, and to me, the forum format of Lemmy and similar sites is an invitation to have a conversation. When I see something that’s relatable, I often like to talk about how it’s relatable, and when I get to talking, I often like to say more than just a small bit. I usually only assume that a community is exclusive when something in its sidebar says so. The sidebar here doesn’t say it’s for people with ADHD only, so I assumed it’d be okay for me to join in the conversation.
And yeah, talking about how I sleep probably wasn’t the best thing there. I’ve been on the receiving end of righteous anger for giving neurotypical advice before, but I assumed that adding a disclaimer would have been enough. I’m not trying to fix you, and I understand that what works for me may not be feasible to even try for you. But I didn’t see it as just talking to people with ADHD. There are neurotypical people seeing these posts too when they trend, and I was thinking the advice might possibly help one of them even if it can’t help people with ADHD.
There’s a good point to be made about how it’s wrong for a neurotypical to co-opt an ADHD post to give advice to other neurotypicals, and I get that. I just don’t really see it as that, because the advice wasn’t even the primary purpose of my post (though I understand how it seems like that as it ended up being the largest paragraph.) The reason I was posting in the first place was just to talk about how it was relatable. I thought expressing a bit of solidarity and agreeing with the perspective on the top person in the meme would be a good thing. The advice was initially just a way to demonstrate that, before I went and made a whole paragraph out of it.
Sorry it came across the way it did. I’ll try to be more careful about it in the future, assuming I remember.
Lmfao, that’s a lot of condescending words to say “no, I will absolutely NOT listen to the people whose space I’m encroaching on and try to learn about their experience and do better for their benefit (or simply walk away), I WILL continue to always centre myself, because that’s all I care about”.
I’ve been on the receiving end of righteous anger for giving neurotypical advice before
And yet the thought to, you know, just fucking not never seems to have crossed your mind…
The “experience I’m facing” that is causing me “anger” is you and your behaviour, no amount of twisting things to justify it to yourself changes that, the least you can do is take some accountability (lmfao, as if… This entire thread is absolutely textbook NT behaviour, including the framing me as “emotional” and yourself as “logical”, and you’ve already made it clear that you don’t give a shit about the impact of your own actions).
Sorry it came across the way it did. I’ll try to be more careful about it in the future, assuming I remember.
Fuck your non apology and your insistent on there being a next time for you to be “careful about it” - you don’t need to “be careful”, what you need is to have some respect for spaces that aren’t for you and the people they are for, and resist your desperate need to insert yourself and your unsolicited unhelpful and uninformed opinions absolutely everywhere.
I thought expressing a bit of solidarity
TIL solidarity means privileged people talking over the experiences of marginalise people in their own space 🙄
I know perfectly well what space I’m in, and if the NT encroaching on it didn’t realise (and they did, because they were making excuses for themselves from the get go) them coming from /all would only excuse the first comment, not the rest of the thread where they make it clear that they don’t care that they’re talking over ND’s in our own space.
Not a bad idea, but as of now there’s no need in this case. I’m done having that argument (except for the one last comment I left in another branch of the thread before reading this) because it’s clear that it’s not accomplishing anything but frustration and wasted time. Though I guess it could still be good for DessertStorms to block me for the future, in case I misstep like this again.
One study, published in the National Sleep Foundation’s journal, Sleep Health, investigated iPhone use in young adults before bed and found no significant differences in sleep outcomes regardless of whether subjects used a phone with a less-blue display, a normal display or no phone at all.
Several studies have suggested blue light emissions suppress the production of the sleep-promoting hormone, melatonin. But researchers now say these effects are not as extreme as previously believed, amounting to, at most, a 10-minute delay due to screen use.
That’s talking about being on the phone before bed, not while trying to sleep. I’m not talking about people doing one last scroll before they go to bed, I’m talking about people lying in bed, scrolling through their feeds, expecting to fall asleep with their phone in hand.
And yeah, I thought it was a no-brainer that actively reading social media makes it harder to fall asleep while doing so, but these days I’m not so sure how common this “common sense” is.
And yeah, I thought it was a no-brainer that actively reading social media makes it harder to fall asleep while doing so, but these days I’m not so sure how common this “common sense” is.
And there it is.
The NT has ridden in on their white horse to teach all us NDs about their “common sense” that is clearly what we’re lacking…
What would we do without you, oh great neurotypical??? /S
Because you’re on an ADHD page. The rest of us are here talking about the ADHD experience and you’re going on and on saying BuT wHaT aBoUt ThE nEuRoTyPiCaL eXpErIeNcE?
For people with ADHD, falling asleep with the phone in your hand can be objectively quicker.
A while ago, I read something about how back in the day, people would spend half of their evenings “thinking about sleep” and not really doing anything, talking about it like wasted time when you could be doing more fulfulling things. So it’s weird to me to hear that people are recommending two whole hours of this.
As someone who doesn’t have ADHD, here’s what works for me*: No heavy metal or intense video gaming right before bed. I usually just take one final scroll through the front page of Lemmy before I go to bed. And I leave my phone at my desk - that part seems more important. Studies have found it’s harder to fall asleep while looking at a screen. I learned this a while ago and thought it was a no-brainer, then was surprised over the years to learn how many people are literally scrolling through their phones while they’re trying to sleep. If you can give that up*, you’ll fall asleep easier, and if your phone is out of arm’s reach of your bed, your alarm clock will be much more effective in the morning.
*I can’t even guess how easy this would be to pull off with ADHD. Maybe it’s about as easy as it is for anyone else (which may not be all that easy tbf,) maybe it’s borderline impossible. If it’s the latter, sorry, I don’t have any ADHD-specific advice.
Always appreciate someone who doesn’t have adhd coming in and giving advice like they have it all figured out. You might as well just say, have you tried not having adhd?
Yeah, I know it’s not necessarily going to be applicable. That’s why I gave two asterisks pointing to a disclaimer about exactly that.
Anyways, the point of my comment was more to talk about my thoughts and experiences regarding sleep routines, and the fact that the “two hours of nothing stimulating before bed” is incredibly alien even to me, as a person who doesn’t have ADHD.
Not everything is about or for you, you don’t always have to chip in, and this is a perfect example of a time where you actually have nothing of much value to contribute to the conversation so should just taken a seat and listen (if you must. Again - some things simply aren’t for you and it’s ok to move on without piping up).
You are literally being the top person in the meme who doesn’t get it. We face several of you a day every single day of our lives.
I hope you take this opportunity to learn and do better in the future, instead of trying to justify, and continuing to centre yourself in conversations that aren’t for you.
I’m sorry about the experiences you’ve faced that are justifying this anger.
I just like to join in conversations, and to me, the forum format of Lemmy and similar sites is an invitation to have a conversation. When I see something that’s relatable, I often like to talk about how it’s relatable, and when I get to talking, I often like to say more than just a small bit. I usually only assume that a community is exclusive when something in its sidebar says so. The sidebar here doesn’t say it’s for people with ADHD only, so I assumed it’d be okay for me to join in the conversation.
And yeah, talking about how I sleep probably wasn’t the best thing there. I’ve been on the receiving end of righteous anger for giving neurotypical advice before, but I assumed that adding a disclaimer would have been enough. I’m not trying to fix you, and I understand that what works for me may not be feasible to even try for you. But I didn’t see it as just talking to people with ADHD. There are neurotypical people seeing these posts too when they trend, and I was thinking the advice might possibly help one of them even if it can’t help people with ADHD.
There’s a good point to be made about how it’s wrong for a neurotypical to co-opt an ADHD post to give advice to other neurotypicals, and I get that. I just don’t really see it as that, because the advice wasn’t even the primary purpose of my post (though I understand how it seems like that as it ended up being the largest paragraph.) The reason I was posting in the first place was just to talk about how it was relatable. I thought expressing a bit of solidarity and agreeing with the perspective on the top person in the meme would be a good thing. The advice was initially just a way to demonstrate that, before I went and made a whole paragraph out of it.
Sorry it came across the way it did. I’ll try to be more careful about it in the future, assuming I remember.
Lmfao, that’s a lot of condescending words to say “no, I will absolutely NOT listen to the people whose space I’m encroaching on and try to learn about their experience and do better for their benefit (or simply walk away), I WILL continue to always centre myself, because that’s all I care about”.
And yet the thought to, you know, just fucking not never seems to have crossed your mind…
The “experience I’m facing” that is causing me “anger” is you and your behaviour, no amount of twisting things to justify it to yourself changes that, the least you can do is take some accountability (lmfao, as if… This entire thread is absolutely textbook NT behaviour, including the framing me as “emotional” and yourself as “logical”, and you’ve already made it clear that you don’t give a shit about the impact of your own actions).
Fuck your non apology and your insistent on there being a next time for you to be “careful about it” - you don’t need to “be careful”, what you need is to have some respect for spaces that aren’t for you and the people they are for, and resist your desperate need to insert yourself and your unsolicited unhelpful and uninformed opinions absolutely everywhere.
TIL solidarity means privileged people talking over the experiences of marginalise people in their own space 🙄
Also consider that most folks scroll all, and don’t even look at the sub
Edit so even though the second person said they have ADHD, if you thought you were just in memes, then a reply is more normal
I know perfectly well what space I’m in, and if the NT encroaching on it didn’t realise (and they did, because they were making excuses for themselves from the get go) them coming from /all would only excuse the first comment, not the rest of the thread where they make it clear that they don’t care that they’re talking over ND’s in our own space.
You are displaying a lot of frustration. I recommend blocking them, you’ll be happier
Not a bad idea, but as of now there’s no need in this case. I’m done having that argument (except for the one last comment I left in another branch of the thread before reading this) because it’s clear that it’s not accomplishing anything but frustration and wasted time. Though I guess it could still be good for DessertStorms to block me for the future, in case I misstep like this again.
You may need to update your “no brainier”
As those of us who scroll in bed have long known:
https://nypost.com/2024/05/30/lifestyle/screentime-before-bed-could-be-less-harmful-than-earlier-thought/
That’s talking about being on the phone before bed, not while trying to sleep. I’m not talking about people doing one last scroll before they go to bed, I’m talking about people lying in bed, scrolling through their feeds, expecting to fall asleep with their phone in hand.
And yeah, I thought it was a no-brainer that actively reading social media makes it harder to fall asleep while doing so, but these days I’m not so sure how common this “common sense” is.
And there it is.
The NT has ridden in on their white horse to teach all us NDs about their “common sense” that is clearly what we’re lacking…
What would we do without you, oh great neurotypical??? /S
Why are you being so hostile? I’m not even talking about ADHD here, I know neurotypical people who do it.
Because you’re on an ADHD page. The rest of us are here talking about the ADHD experience and you’re going on and on saying BuT wHaT aBoUt ThE nEuRoTyPiCaL eXpErIeNcE?
For people with ADHD, falling asleep with the phone in your hand can be objectively quicker.