inb4 “Baby, don’t hurt me.”

But for real…what do people mean when they say “I love you,” or “Do you love them?” I’m really confused by this because love seems to have such a varying definition. People say love for all sorts of things, and it seems like everyone else understands which definition they’re using in the moment. Here are some examples in which each one has a different meaning:

  • I love pancakes.
  • I love my mother.
  • I love my romantic partner.
  • I love my best friend.
  • I love my career.
  • I love going to the beach.
  • My dog loves me.
  • That couple is in love.
  • Where is the love?

Background: I recently saw an episode of a show (spoiler below) where there was an adolescent heterosexual couple. The girl had a female best friend that she kissed, and is now confused about what she wants. She told her boyfriend about it. The boyfriend then asked her, “Do you love her?” What is he asking? If love means attachment and care, then clearly she does because that’s her best friend. However, since that is so clear, he’s not asking that. What is he asking??

Another specification is when people ask “Do you love them, or are you in love with them?”

I am confused by this term and the whole concept in general. I think I could really use some clarification, examples, or how to know which definition someone is going with when they use it.

Name of show

The show is Atypical on Netflix.

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    6 months ago

    I think this is a pretty good definition. Heard it on an episode of This American Life. Note that it’s not just about romantic love, but other kinds as well.

    The visionary feminist writer Bell Hooks says love is made up of seven parts. Wherever someone is practicing care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, trust, and open, honest communication, there is love.