(Example at the end)
Usually we discuss stereotypes in terms of how they are harmful—which is good because it’s super important to recognize and confront the stereotypes that perpetuate systems of oppression and hurt. That doesn’t mean all of them are harmful, though. Some are neutral and and some are a net positive. If you can think of neutral ones that’s fine but I’m especially interested in the constructive and beneficial ones. Hopefully I’m explaining this well enough but if it becomes clear I didn’t I’ll delete this post.
Example: I usually encourage people, especially kids and pedestrians, to assume that drivers can’t see you. While it’s not necessarily true even a majority of the time, it’s nevertheless a constructive stereotype to hold in terms of road safety.
I think in unsafe scenes it can be dangerous to try and argue against your gut instincts by assuming you’re being stereotypical. This message is vital for women and other targeted groups, but can apply to anyone really.
If you’re out at night, or in a club/bar/party, or out with strangers, or are without your phone/keys, ect; then you need to trust any sense of unsafety and be on high alert. If it’s a false alarm due to a stereotype then you can interrogate your biases later. If someone gives you the creeps, you need to maneuver into a safe position before giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Our instincts are really good at detecting if something’s off or dangerous, but really bad at communicating that to us consciously. So always go to a friend, or public location, or wait for another day, ect; before turning your back on someone with red flags, even if it’s a stereotype.
Woo the first real answer that just doesn’t argue with my semantics, and also really well written!
Yes, and I think the context, as you emphasize, is so key here. In situations that are vulnerable to the point of being time sensitive, interrogating one’s biases is absolutely valid to do later (or even better, before).
I am noticing a pattern in (what I consider to be) the real answers in that they mostly apply in situations where cognition is limited in some sense. Children have limited cognition so we tell them “stranger danger” and “cars can’t see you.” But, as we know from your example, cognition can also be limited by time which means that gut instincts and stereotypes often apply in dangerous situations as well.
Thanks for your comment!
I can say being a trans woman confronts you with this dilemma head on. While I was boymode I was largely ignored and didn’t think much about safety, but after transitioning I began to understand why my sister always had an array of self defense keychains.
Since it was a sudden shift for me I’ve ask myself how to avoid dangerous people, and apart from self defense methods the only real answer I’ve come to is recognize the signs and trust your gut feelings.
Sadly many people are conditioned to always be nice and accommodating to please everyone. Everybody needs to set strict boundaries and know how to leave unapologetically when they’re breached. You never owe someone your unconditional trust.
🙌🙌 poignant advice