I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.
I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.
But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?
During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?
I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.
As the only female on Lemmy I’m here to say maybe. Possibly anything could be used for penetration. I have personally never used a vegetable. A cucumber could be too large and intimidating for a young girl so hair brush handles are top tier.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Average men everywhere
It is not the size, it’s your ability to give me an orgasm I care about. Sincerely, a woman.
Seriously. I’m not a woman so my experience is from the other side of things, but if there is anything I’m glad I’ve learned in the bedroom it’s that you have to find out what she likes and not just assume. Not all women like being pounded like crazy and at the same time not all women like having their clit focused on. You need to find the sweet spot(s) and also learn how to use them, so to speak.
Absolutely. And a lot of women never learn to have G spot orgasms so it’s a learning curve for them too. But having them vs clitoral orgasms is like the difference between learning Spanish and learning Italian.
I will concur that I’ve never used a vegetable or fruit either. Just seems dirty. Toothbrush or other plastic toy were my first go tos, (plus bath water) but really, can’t emphasize this enough, a lot of girls don’t need penetration to get off. Just clitoral stimulation.
After talking to a few honest (or tipsy) women about their early sexual discovery I know the high likely hood of that Micky Mouse electric toothbrush getting absolutely violated.
Mine was like this long cylindrical toy that was basically a weeble wobble. And a kooshball at the end of a pen (for clitoral stimulation).
https://offerup.com/item/detail/577a38e0-dd43-30c9-b992-38d3645a9362
https://www.ebay.com/itm/204698392802?chn=ps&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&com_cvv=8fb3d522dc163aeadb66e08cd7450cbbdddc64c6cf2e8891f6d48747c6d56d2c
The koosh ball slapped, didn’t look exactly like the above. It was really really good. I’ve never been able to find something to replace it with and I’ve been looking for years.
lol, for boys it was definitely the “water snake”
https://a.co/d/67SgmBT
Absolutely insane how creative a hard-up young’un can get.
I mean not all cucumbers are that huge. You could get a smaller cariant or just a smaller specimen. I do see your point though.
Yea that’s why I said “could”.
As the other female on Lemmy, I would be worried that a piece of cucumber would snap off mid wank and I’d be left trying to pick seeds out of my cooter. I have never done anything like this.
Is standard procedure to rawdog the vegetable or are a combination of lube and/or condoms used?
Asking for a friend.
If your only option is a cucumber then it’s 100% raw dogged because you don’t have access to anything else.
I’ve used cling wrap. Keeps both the cucumber and my bits clean.
Now the big question. Was that particular cucumber eaten or discarded?
I used it to make Asian cucumber salad.
Curious. Now I’m feeling hungry.
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