“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.
A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.
The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”
It’s interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.
From what I understand it’s the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don’t think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.
Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don’t want to risk misinterpreting it.
Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?
p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.
Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested
https://datepsychology.com/risk-aversion-and-dating/
I did some digging and according to this. 77% of women 18 - 30 want to be approached more. I don’t know about pick up artists. But I wonder if a respectful way of approaching women could in fact be taught.
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I’ve seen you on other posts here. I am going to be candid here. You need therapy. You have a very negative view of yourself, external locus of control, low self-worth, and low self-esteem.
Women aren’t some unique species with singular interests. They don’t all want a generic ass prince. Most women I have met simply want someone with similar interests, makes them feel wanted, and makes them feel important and valued. Having someone attractive is a plus, but most of that isn’t physical. The more emotionally attracted someone is to another the more physically attractive they perceive the person.
Note that NOTHING I said women want is dependent on what you have, how you look, or where you live. It’s ALL about how you treat them.
If you treat them like all they want is some generic prince or fuck boy, why should they want to get to know you? Just treat them like a normal person that has their own interests and desires and not that of some “all women” generalizations you keep repeating.
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Dude, that’s the low self-worth speaking. You don’t even know if others will find you interesting so you don’t even try. Plenty of women like video games. Plenty of women like music. And they like to talk about those games and the music that enjoy.
And you’re right, making them feel wanted isn’t enough. Appreciated, valued, and comfortable and also needed. And not just physically wanted. You want them around because you enjoy their company and who they are.
Oh I know, I’ve been in this earth for 30 plus years playing videogames and similars, nobody came
Maybe. I’m not in that age group and the women that age who I know do not express any desire to be approached randomly. But I think it’s always going to feel odd to be asked out by someone you don’t know, and maybe there’s a disconnect between who they might want to be doing the asking, and who is.
I will agree our society is missing both physical non-sexual connection (hugging, etc) and good conversation that might lead to connection, small talk is a skill not a talent. But the answer is NEVER to impose these things on an unwilling participant. So one of the skills that need to be taught is discernment or empathy - being aware of the people around you, reading the signals. Listening, not just talking in what you think is a generic respectful way.