I went to a temp agency one time and went through the enrollment/placement tests. I told them up front I was just looking for competitive offers to bring to my 5 year review to ask current employer to match. They were cool with it after i told them I would be back if employer doesnt match.
So I’m taking the test and was blown away at the test questions. I’m reading them outloud to the agents at their desks asking them which ones people actually respond honestly to. They start telling me hilarious stories of people theyve had fail the test.
They eventually told me they have had at least one person at some time answer every question with the very honest but very damning wrong answer. They said none of the people they told me about were even the assholes intentionally failing the test just to show proof they applied. They were people being waaaay too fuckin honest about their liberal drug use.
Some of the more memorable questions:
In the last 8hrs how many times have you smoked meth?
A. 0 times
B. 1-4 times
C. 5-10 times
D. 10 or more
Have you ever smoked crack cocaine while on the clock?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe
Would you ever smoke crack while on the clock?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe
How many alcohol beverages do you have on your lunch break?
A. 0 drinks
B. 1-4 drinks
C. 5-10 drinks
D. 10 or more drinks
How many alcohol beverages did you have today before this interview?
A. 0 drinks
B. 1-4 drinks
C. 5-10 drinks
D. 10 or more drinks
Describe your performance at work while high on alcohol or narcotics compared to your performance at work while not high on alcohol or narcotics.
A. Have never worked high on alcohol or narcotics.
B. I perform worse while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.
C. I perform the same while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.
D. I perform better while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.
Right?! Especially if it was an off-the-cuff agreement. But if I had a few minutes to think it over, I would buy that anyone serious enough to get verifiable competitive offers using a third party would be serious enough to come back for those better offers if the current employer doesn’t bite. (This is assuming you can’t arrange new employment without the temp agency’s involvement for whatever contractual reason. Not sure how they typically work.)
It’s rural town USA. The company I was pressing to match the competitive offer was actually my own family’s manufacturing corporation. The temp agency knew exactly who I was when they saw my last name. They had good fun joking about how they knew my family doesn’t pay their employees enough but having the owner’s son threatening to quit for better pay really solidified it as a good ole hardyharhar to them. I knew it. They knew it. Plus we have done a ton of business with them over the years filling entry level temp to perm positions, so the whole thing was really super laid back.
The girl doing meth in her car.
Also the guy being arrested for having CP on his personal device and never coming back technically counts too, right?
I went to a temp agency one time and went through the enrollment/placement tests. I told them up front I was just looking for competitive offers to bring to my 5 year review to ask current employer to match. They were cool with it after i told them I would be back if employer doesnt match.
So I’m taking the test and was blown away at the test questions. I’m reading them outloud to the agents at their desks asking them which ones people actually respond honestly to. They start telling me hilarious stories of people theyve had fail the test.
They eventually told me they have had at least one person at some time answer every question with the very honest but very damning wrong answer. They said none of the people they told me about were even the assholes intentionally failing the test just to show proof they applied. They were people being waaaay too fuckin honest about their liberal drug use.
Some of the more memorable questions:
In the last 8hrs how many times have you smoked meth?
A. 0 times
B. 1-4 times
C. 5-10 times
D. 10 or more
Have you ever smoked crack cocaine while on the clock?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe
Would you ever smoke crack while on the clock?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe
How many alcohol beverages do you have on your lunch break?
A. 0 drinks
B. 1-4 drinks
C. 5-10 drinks
D. 10 or more drinks
How many alcohol beverages did you have today before this interview?
A. 0 drinks
B. 1-4 drinks
C. 5-10 drinks
D. 10 or more drinks
Describe your performance at work while high on alcohol or narcotics compared to your performance at work while not high on alcohol or narcotics.
A. Have never worked high on alcohol or narcotics.
B. I perform worse while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.
C. I perform the same while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.
D. I perform better while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.
Edit for formatting and grammar.
Holy shit that’s amazing. honestly what surprised me most is that you were upfront about the competitive offer thing and tney were cool with it
Right?! Especially if it was an off-the-cuff agreement. But if I had a few minutes to think it over, I would buy that anyone serious enough to get verifiable competitive offers using a third party would be serious enough to come back for those better offers if the current employer doesn’t bite. (This is assuming you can’t arrange new employment without the temp agency’s involvement for whatever contractual reason. Not sure how they typically work.)
It’s rural town USA. The company I was pressing to match the competitive offer was actually my own family’s manufacturing corporation. The temp agency knew exactly who I was when they saw my last name. They had good fun joking about how they knew my family doesn’t pay their employees enough but having the owner’s son threatening to quit for better pay really solidified it as a good ole hardyharhar to them. I knew it. They knew it. Plus we have done a ton of business with them over the years filling entry level temp to perm positions, so the whole thing was really super laid back.
Eight HOURS?!