If you had the technology to make planets – and your mom couldn’t tell you not to – what sort of planet would you make?

The human reading this evolved on Earth with about 0.001% of the Stelliferous Era behind them and about 99.999% of it ahead. There’s still about 100 trillion years when the universe will sustain stars and planets. And the technology of Terra 2024 is impressive, but there’s no reason to think it won’t keep getting better…

In many thousands of years, people from Earth, or a similar planet, master it all: they master biotechnology, neuro-engineering, physics, space-flight, etc.

Freed from the limits of body and mind, they use their technology to build new planets for max lulz. (This is like how Slartibartfast built planets, if you get that reference.)

Some people on Earth in 2024 do believe that life on Earth was created by alien scientists, e.g. the Raëlian sect believe this. That is the situation I am talking about: extraterrestrial creationism.

Other people on Earth believe “walking among us” theories about aliens walk among us disguised as people. Both of these claims are possible (they don’t break the laws of physics or require magic). On the planet Dalasin they both happen to be true, with the additional fact that the alien scientists are absolute horndogs.

Welcome to Dalasin.

The aliens wanted a play-planet. They manœuvered rocks to form a planet and a moon on just the right orbital tracks, made the atmosphere, and built people and plants and animals using their biotechnology.

The people on the surface don’t know this happened. A few suspect something.

The people on Dalasin aren’t average: they have amped-up brains and amped-up boobies because they were made by horny intelligent design. Their brains, their hormonal systems, their bio-psychology is subtly different from naturally-evolved people: they have a much higher sex drive. They are more susceptible to hypnosis. They are more gullible, a lot less guarded. They can rewind aging using techniques I may reveal later.

The aliens sometimes swoop down on Dalasin to dally and sin. I told you a few Dalasinians have suspicions. Alien abduction stories are circulating, mostly ridiculed.

This is an average, typical worker in Dalasin’s healthcare system (she will do anything to make sure you feel better):

This is an average, typical law enforcement officer (she doesn’t care if you did anything wrong or not):

It’s a silly world. It runs on the logic of erotic fiction:

You better be careful because there are roving bands of dominatrices looking to kidnap new slaves.

Santa Claus flies in at Christmas and spanks naughty girls.

You embark upon a career as a glamourous jewel-thief, and get away with it for a while, but eventually get sent to prison and guess what happens to you in prison. Then you’re out after three months with no further consequences. Consequences would be a drag.

The aliens are the explanation for a lot of the silliness. Why does Santa Claus exist? He is an alien in disguise playing around on the planet – his flying reindeer are alien technology. Why do vampires exist and have blood-lust and the power of glamour? Because the aliens engineered a blood-virus with those effects for their amusement. Businesses can exist here and there that make no economic sense; that’s because the aliens run them behind the scenes to make things more amusing.

Future posts will discuss:

• Dalasin’s flora and fauna
• Economy and industry
• Geography