Hey bro it’s a free country if I wanna build a giant solar shade in space you can’t stop me.
Dyson Vacuum Ops LLC owns that real estate now and we’re not obligated to let any useable light pass through my property.
“What’s that sir? You say you’re selling … vacuum mops?”
“No it’s … Mr President. I’m with Dyson.”
“The vacuum company?”
“Yes, we operate strictly in vacuum. So you’ve heard of us”
“Who hasn’t? My mother — god rest her soul — would be just tickled pink to know I was chatting with the head of Dyson”
“Oh I’m so sorry … did she pass recently?”
“Dear Mother …”
“…”
“The old bat”
“…”
The rest of the War Room is silent.
“They said you could fill me in on the plan better than any of them”
“Of course Mr President. The idea is actually rather simple. We start by collecting dust and debris that has been accumulating in space for … well let’s just say for way longer than any of us have been here”
Laughter around the table.
“… We think!” Mr Dyson’s image says from
the corner video wall, holding up his hands in mock surprise. More laughter around the table.
“We collect this dust and debris, and then it is fed into what we call “the hopper”. It’s basically a magnetic containment bottle where the material collects. Each time the bottle reaches capacity …”
The next slide appears.
“… it is fed into this compactor. After heat treatment, from here we can extract metals, silicon, even some carbon
…”
“Mr Dyson, the President is on a schedule. Would you mind summarizing a bit?”
“Uh … well Mr President. We believe the sail will be finished by mid-September of this year at the latest. If we want to do this we need to act quickly.”
“Opinions?”
“Sir, SecDef is of the opinion Space Force needs a stretch goal. Something for the personnel to focus on, to tighten up operations, clean up our technique”
“Stretching is good. Cleanliness is next to godliness”
“Yes Mr President”
One of the aides along the wall suddenly looks anxious.
“If the sale finishes in September, how soon does your company need the funds?”
“As soon as possible, Sir”
“You’ll have them”
“Oh and Mr Dyson, please bring me one for the White House. I’m old fashioned, I like to know what I’m buying, even if it’s not my money”
Another laugh.
“uh … I’ll see what I can do”
“Thank you Dyson”
Mr Dyson, adopts a puzzled expression right before his face disappears from the screen.
“Who’d have thought? Someone’s finally doing vacuum mops”
“Indeed Sir”
“Now tell me about this Comet project”
“Well, as you know we’ve been scouring the basins on Luna for evidence of meteor impacts matching a certain composition”
“Meteors! My god!”
“It’s normal sir. They happened a long time ago. We’re just scouring the impact sites to look for …”
“Cleanliness is next to godliness”
“Uh yep. Uh, and uh, yes, and we did actually find what we were looking for”
“Is that a good thing?”
“It’s a very good thing sir. We’ve been able to extend the periodic table with elements we never thought we could stabilize”
“Like … rocks, or what?”
“Theoretically they could be solid, but not at the energies we’re using. Think of a beach ball …”
Will somebody please think of the consequences?
Hey bro it’s a free country if I wanna build a giant solar shade in space you can’t stop me.
Dyson Vacuum Ops LLC owns that real estate now and we’re not obligated to let any useable light pass through my property.
“What’s that sir? You say you’re selling … vacuum mops?”
“No it’s … Mr President. I’m with Dyson.”
“The vacuum company?”
“Yes, we operate strictly in vacuum. So you’ve heard of us”
“Who hasn’t? My mother — god rest her soul — would be just tickled pink to know I was chatting with the head of Dyson”
“Oh I’m so sorry … did she pass recently?”
“Dear Mother …”
“…”
“The old bat”
“…”
The rest of the War Room is silent.
“They said you could fill me in on the plan better than any of them”
“Of course Mr President. The idea is actually rather simple. We start by collecting dust and debris that has been accumulating in space for … well let’s just say for way longer than any of us have been here”
Laughter around the table.
“… We think!” Mr Dyson’s image says from the corner video wall, holding up his hands in mock surprise. More laughter around the table.
“We collect this dust and debris, and then it is fed into what we call “the hopper”. It’s basically a magnetic containment bottle where the material collects. Each time the bottle reaches capacity …”
The next slide appears.
“… it is fed into this compactor. After heat treatment, from here we can extract metals, silicon, even some carbon …”
“Mr Dyson, the President is on a schedule. Would you mind summarizing a bit?”
“Uh … well Mr President. We believe the sail will be finished by mid-September of this year at the latest. If we want to do this we need to act quickly.”
“Opinions?”
“Sir, SecDef is of the opinion Space Force needs a stretch goal. Something for the personnel to focus on, to tighten up operations, clean up our technique”
“Stretching is good. Cleanliness is next to godliness”
“Yes Mr President”
One of the aides along the wall suddenly looks anxious.
“If the sale finishes in September, how soon does your company need the funds?”
“As soon as possible, Sir”
“You’ll have them”
“Oh and Mr Dyson, please bring me one for the White House. I’m old fashioned, I like to know what I’m buying, even if it’s not my money”
Another laugh.
“uh … I’ll see what I can do”
“Thank you Dyson”
Mr Dyson, adopts a puzzled expression right before his face disappears from the screen.
“Who’d have thought? Someone’s finally doing vacuum mops”
“Indeed Sir”
“Now tell me about this Comet project”
“Well, as you know we’ve been scouring the basins on Luna for evidence of meteor impacts matching a certain composition”
“Meteors! My god!”
“It’s normal sir. They happened a long time ago. We’re just scouring the impact sites to look for …”
“Cleanliness is next to godliness”
“Uh yep. Uh, and uh, yes, and we did actually find what we were looking for”
“Is that a good thing?”
“It’s a very good thing sir. We’ve been able to extend the periodic table with elements we never thought we could stabilize”
“Like … rocks, or what?”
“Theoretically they could be solid, but not at the energies we’re using. Think of a beach ball …”