I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.

this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.

then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.

why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?

  • Nougat
    19•1 day ago

    I am going to suggest that you get a colonoscopy. My own experience with giant polyps is that they reduce the ability to evacuate fully, and make for an “it’s like a marker, I just keep wiping” condition. Between the extra straining and extra filth, that can definitely be a “recipe” for hemmorhoids.

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    • Ellia PlisskenOPEnglish
      3•1 day ago

      i got one when i was diagnosed with them at 18 but it’s time for another (they give you really good drugs for a colonoscopy)

      • Nougat
        1•24 hours ago

        All they gave me was propyphol, I wouldn’t call it “good.” Just knocks you out.