This is fair, though the reason we do it is to make sure the other person is okay enough to answer the question or talk about the thing first and if not we would want to help them out or take that into consideration.
Just asking the question feels rude or dismissive if they aren’t doing well.
This varies a lot by culture, though. If you ask a North American how they are, you’ve basically said “hi”. If you ask a Norwegian the same, you’ve asked a personal, private question. You might get an answer if you already know them privately; we might think you’re prying into something that’s neither your nor the workplace’s business if you don’t. Keeping professional is polite, prying is rude.
I don’t think caring about other people is the problem. I think this particular manifestation is of dubious value, and in fact annoys enough people that someone made a website asking you to stop doing it.
Furthermore, if “Hey man what’s up? Do you remember if there’s lunch provided at this meeting?” is going to push them over the edge, then they’re so close to a breaking point already that anything is going to do it.
I think its perfectly reasonable to make no assumptions about someone’s wellbeing (you are checking the status of their wellbeing, not assuming that they are unwell).
This is fair, though the reason we do it is to make sure the other person is okay enough to answer the question or talk about the thing first and if not we would want to help them out or take that into consideration.
Just asking the question feels rude or dismissive if they aren’t doing well.
This varies a lot by culture, though. If you ask a North American how they are, you’ve basically said “hi”. If you ask a Norwegian the same, you’ve asked a personal, private question. You might get an answer if you already know them privately; we might think you’re prying into something that’s neither your nor the workplace’s business if you don’t. Keeping professional is polite, prying is rude.
Sure, context and culture matter. Thanks for pointing this out!
…so do both?
“Hi, coworker! How’s your day? Anyway bossman is on me about the TPS reports, are those going to be done today?”
See? You were polite, checked in on them, AND got to the point all at once!
I’ll think about it. Thank you so much for the suggestion though!
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I don’t really like seeing caring about others or folks feeling down as a ‘problem’.
I don’t think caring about other people is the problem. I think this particular manifestation is of dubious value, and in fact annoys enough people that someone made a website asking you to stop doing it.
Furthermore, if “Hey man what’s up? Do you remember if there’s lunch provided at this meeting?” is going to push them over the edge, then they’re so close to a breaking point already that anything is going to do it.
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I think its perfectly reasonable to make no assumptions about someone’s wellbeing (you are checking the status of their wellbeing, not assuming that they are unwell).
Yes, exactly. Thank you for pointing this out!
wow, okay…