(Early 20s bi m)
This isnt a question on finding someone who’s interested, more on how to approach asking for things like sexting or even just discussing sexual topics without it coming across like thats the only thing Im interested in .
How do I ease into that kind of discussion in a way that would let me back off gracefully if I get the sense that the person I’m talking to isnt interested in that at the moment? What bridge topics could I use that are more innocuous than just dropping a “hey what are your opinions about buttfucking?” Into the conversation like a grenade.
I’d like to be able to use a lighter touch so if it seems like somebody isnt interested at the moment I could circle back when they might be more in the mood for that, or at least not ruin the non-sexual things I like about the relationship if it seems like they’re not interested at all.
I’m also fairly vanilla in terms of sexual interests, advice specific to kink would be appreciated since I’m kink-curious but isnt exactly what I’m looking for.
My advice is that you don’t explicitly talk about this with someone who you wr flirting with. Once you are a sexual partner sure, but not before.
Before that it is much more about compatibility, mutual attraction. Post kissing you can talk about the details sure, but before that it’s more non-verbal, it’s about expressing your attraction. If you initiate the sexual talk beforehand it comes across as if you are in a meat market which most people I have come across tend to turn away from.
But that is just my 2 cents on that matter, hope it helps.