Warning: The content of this post might be troubling, especially to those with a sensitivity to nightmares or suicide.
I have nightmares that turn into meta-nightmares. I will be in a dream and something threatening is trying to get me. I notice that what is happening is unrealistic or nonsensical, so I tell myself I’m in a nightmare and try to wake myself up. I try yelling as loud as possible, shaking, slapping myself awake, and just telling myself over and over to wake up. I even dream that in my bed in my bedroom fighting through sleep paralysis while trying waking up, while the threat is coming to my bedroom. It’s terrifying. Many times, I wake up happy I was able to finally escape the nightmare, only to realize I’m actually still asleep and the nightmare resumes. It’s very exhausting and disappointing because I will go through many cycles per night (up to 10 times) of thinking I wake up only to be in the nightmare again. It’s like I learn to not be hopeful that it’s over.
On a few occasions where the threat was so severe that I rather die, I have killed myself in the dream, and that works but it is terrifying and I wake up as if it were really happening. I wake up breathing heavily, sweating, super confused, and scared to go back to sleep again. It’s like I’m checking if everything is real and having to come to terms that I just committed suicide in my dreams. This only happens when I know I am going to die in the nightmare and rather end it on my own terms. So while it works, it’s not really an option in nightmares where the threat isn’t certain death since they seem so real in the moment. I also don’t want to build a mental habit of committing suicide every time I’m scared for obvious reasons.
In general, the nightmares seem to come in episodes of a few months. They then go away seemingly out of nowhere, and I’m back to normal dreams. I’m currently in the beginning of a new episode, so I’m trying to prepare for the next few months. I don’t have the option to speak with a therapist. I’m looking for remedy that I can employ myself. It can be anything, but I really enjoy learning, so if there is a book or skill recommendation, I would highly appreciate it!
Any tips on how to wake up during nightmares or any other remedies?
I rarely realize when I’m dreaming, but when I do, those are some of the BEST dreams! Once I realize that it’s not real, I think “Wait, in THIS world, I’m in charge!” and I take control.
I know you can’t always realize the situation in your dreams, but maybe a perspective change could help.
Instead of trying to escape, embrace it! Pull out your holy hand grenade, count to three (5 is right out), and chuck it at the nightmare!
Before you go to sleep, focus on how excited you are to go in and defeat your monsters! Think about your flaming sword of virtue and how it will cut through anything that dares challenge your power in your own domain! Keep thoughts of victory and power in your mind and when you are in the thick of that nightmare, you will remember that you are in control and you will win that battle!
You created those nightmares, and until you know that you can beat them, you will continue to create them.
Between another comment and yours, I think what my dreams are representing are how little control I feel I have over anything in my life. I just have to prepare for the worst. That’s what I’m feeling.
I couldn’t agree more. You feel helpless, and that carries over into your dreams.