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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/AbsurdInDenial on 2023-08-18 14:54:04+00:00.

I (f21) and me boyfriend (f27) are colleagues and are living together since a past few months. We were great as frienda before the relationship and he was very mature, understanding, considerate, and he always helped me bring out my best self. But now, things have changed and he has become very controlling. He asks me to wear what he likes when going to work and when I say I’m not comfortable in it, he asks about his own comfort and and whether I’m not concerned about it. He also says that he is concerned about how men ( who mostly are pervs according to him) view me. Also, he asks me to cutoff people he dislikes and doesn’t let me go to work on days when he is off-duty. He doesn’t let me go on vacations with my girlfriends, saying that if I go and let him stay alone, then he will have to say yes to all the plans his friends make and we won’t have time for eachother.

Yet, he makes amazing plans for our future and he does all these things because I’m just living in the moment and not considerate of our future and being selfish. And he says that he knows what he is doing is not the right things, but its just a phase and wants me help him and make things better. He says he is as helpless as I am. He needs time and he wants me to remain calm and composed when he is angry and out of control. And asks me to take control of us and guide our relationship. I don’t know how to do it when he doesn’t even let me step out without his permission. But i love him so much and I know we will have the best relationship when we are over this thing. How can I help us?

Tl;dr- Boyfriend is very much controlling but wants to get out of this phase and make things better. How can I help us?