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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/UneekPhyseek on 2023-08-18 18:35:16+00:00.

So my partner (31F)and I (36M) were together for about 12/13 years, we split up a couple of years ago, since then we have been on and off but now she’s done, she doesn’t want a relationship with me.

It hurts, I love this girl with all my heart, she was my person, the one I’d talk to everything about but she moved out with the kids, so went my financial stability and emotional stability, I wasn’t always the best partner, I have a couple of mental illnesses from my childhood that I have never remedied, my mother was a narcissist, from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning until I went to bed at night she would just berate my brother, sister and i, screaming and shouting constantly, so I mirror these behaviours not to the same extent but every couple of months I’ll through a screaming fit, screaming, shouting and all together being a horrible human being, I have started counselling to try and help myself a bit.

I understand why my partner does not want to be with me anymore but I’m really struggling to come to terms with it. I can’t sleep, everytime I close my eyes they just pop back open again, I used to just put my head on the pillow and I’d be asleep, I’d don’t sleep for days at a time now, I used to go gym all the time but now I’m just starting to lose weight because I don’t eat or go gym anymore.

We have 2 children together so I cannot just cut off contact.

I understand that there is no get fixed quick scheme but does anybody have any advice?

TL;DR: I’m horrible, she left, how do i cope?