Carlo Acutis, a teenage website developer, was attributed a second miracle by Pope Francis, advancing his path to becoming the first millennial saint.
Grown motherfuckers believe this bullshit.
Shit’s embarrassing. Don’t know how people can represent the church with a straight face.
Also: when you get cancer who has the idea to pray to some rando? God’s busy, maybe this 15 year old ghost can get his attention for me.
For that matter, isn’t it sacrilege to pray to some rando? These are pretty flimsy justifications for miracles even by Catholic standards.
I have never understood why catholic iconography is fine to pray to, but other stuff = straight to hell.
While were on the topic of christian nonsense, why are adam and especially eve always portrayed with bellybuttons
I was raised Catholic and had the misfortune of going to a Catholic school, so I can give you the reasons they believe these things. To start off, I know nothing about eastern Orthodox Catholic beliefs
- Catholics believe you’re not praying to the saint or whatever, but praying through them. What they hate is praying to stuff. (I know, confusing and makes little sense)
- Probably the answer would be “artist interpretation”. One religion teacher (literally studied Catholic theology) I’ve also had said something along the lines of “Adam and Eve likely weren’t really the first humans, they were just a representation of something” (sorry I couldn’t be clearer, I never paid attention)
It’s interesting how catholicism is both monotheist and polytheist in a sense, there’s only one god but you still pray to all those saints to act on God’s behalf. There are so many “pagan” rites and beliefs that got somehow absorbed into the faith over time, it’s truly an amalgam of old Indo-European religions.
Also to your second point, I’m pretty sure they meant that Genesis is poetical symbolism as opposed to a literal historical account, which seems to be what most denominations nowadays that aren’t completely cuckoo crazy agree on, the Catholic church included.
As an ex catholic, there’s a lot of hiding behind the veil of time.i haven’t read a lot of apologia and learned catechism when I was 15. Shits vague and blurry to me now, but I remember a feeling that the answers were long winded and not satisfactory. I should read Aquinas and some modern apologia, but epicurus’ paradox really sums up the beginning of my journey into looking into all the bullshit.
On the switch from literal to metaphor interpretation of the Bible, I think science has penetrated deep enough into nature that is just foolish to keep fighting it. The drought/ flood isn’t because God is punishing you for not believing/ praying enough. Here’s models and data, worlds on fire and getting worse.
That article almost read like a satire article. A teenager impressed some old people with a computer and now he’s being made a saint. I too had computer skills in 2006 and also never get laid. What do I get for it?
During his brief life, Acutis created a website cataloging each Eucharistic miracle in the world and listing approved Marian apparitions of the Catholic Church.
He made a list and they call him a computer genius. Not the Onion material.
Did he just … add himself into the
saintstable?
Worse than that, they think you’re the weirdo for not believing it.
Religion is a hell of a drug.
I think the most disturbing thing here is that clearly the Holy See has a bias for JavaScript and/or PHP. I’m shuddering at that thought.
Everyone knows God writes in Perl
I mean when you look at the shit hole we live that makes no goddamn sense… Yeah it’s Perl.
Look, if my code compiles on the first try, I’d call that a miracle as well, but I ain’t no saint.
If you can make my code compile on the first try then you are
And lo did St Carlo the Broccoli Headed droppeth his divine merch upon thy gyats, absent of any fanum tax, and the fam was filled with much rizz. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula skibidi. Amen.
You’re using slang from the wrong generation, bae. That’s so extra of you, but lowkey I still think you’re lit so don’t get salty with me or I’ll be shook.
Let’s get turnt!
Outta sight, daddy-o. 23 skiddoo.
He haveth no concubines, for his rizz was only for the LORD.
If there’s a developer deserving of sainthood it’s Terry Davies of TempleOS fame. But I’m not sure if he counts as Catholic.
I was about to say that he was a racist and homophobic, but then remembered that wouldn’t be a problem. Hell, might even up his chances.
Wasn’t he also a paranoid schizophrenic? Depending on how it manifests, that shit can change your entire personality.
Rip Terry
Wait so according to the article, someone prayed to him while in hospital and got healed? Is that all it takes to become a Saint? I wonder: if I ever get into a hospital I should pray to say Genghis Khan just to troll the Church.
Think about how weird that is for a minute. This guy wasn’t a saint when people were praying to him. So do Catholics just go around praying to randos until 3 people pray to the same rando and then are like “aha! a saint!” ?
They’re not exactly randos. But yup, that’s the gist of it.
Sorry I’m not a Catholic. What’s the intermediate step between rando and saint?
Influencer, apparently
As far as I recall, you need to perform 3 miracles that have to be verified (yes, I know lmao) by the Catholic church in order to be canonized (dubbed a saint).
Often times these aren’t major miracles with significant outcomes but picture a statue crying or the image of the person appearing on a slice of toast or whatever.
Yeah but 2 of this guy’s 3 were healing people that prayed to him. Which is what spawned my question: so Catholics pray to non-saints?
It needs to happen twice. I would help you but I still poses the indestructibility of youth.
spoiler
I think the person also needs to be Catholic.
I think Genghis Khan has to heal at least two people.
Genghis Khan was already deified in Mongolia, give someone else a chance.
Can we go with another fictional character yet? It has been so long since Jesus was added to the lore that the fantasy of it has been waning with all these mundane saints.
I nominate Joker for, erm… you know, always putting on a smile even when getting a beating from Batman the, umm… Dark Knight, which is definitely an evil title, right?
That’ll just cause more schisms as people split off to follow the various versions and incarnations of the Joker. The various sects will violently disagree on everything except the fact that it’s not fucking Jared Leto.
If you’re American pray to some rich fuck to clear your medical bills. Imagine the collective circle jerk if it was Saint Elon? The dick riding would be insane! Hahaha
Went with the Yahoo! link as they are guaranteed to not have some sort of paywall that pops out of nowhere. Also because the Insider used a video, so this is an actual word transcription
Also wut
Jesus fucking Christ. Humans are weird.
Ironic
The painting of Carlo is hilarious. I imagine it’s solemn ceremony and the painting is Carlo wearing normal clothes.
It’s going to be real disorienting looking at the portraits of Saints. It’s going to start from ancient clothing to formal more contemporary clothing to a saint were a bright red jacket with a backpack on.
All religions are jokes. But this shit right here…
How the fuck can anyone take this shit seriously? Religion is a scourge on all of us, turning the feeble-minded into an instrument for the benefit of evil sociopaths.
Huh, figured the pope would be too busy bashing trans people and protecting paedophiles.
Everybody needs a break sometimes.
Pope Francis abolished the rule of pontifical secrecy that had protected accused child abusers from criminal investigation and has a history of promoting acceptance and inclusion for trans and gay people within the Church.
I don’t agree with organized religion in general, and the Roman Catholic Church is particularly problematic. But as far as popes go, I believe Francis is a good one.
Vatican says sex reassignment surgery, surrogacy and gender theory threaten human ‘dignity’
He gave Cardinal George Pell a special position working in the Vatican so he could flee my country and avoid prosecution.
Pope Francis is a shitcunt of the highest order.
Thank you for sharing that article, I wasn’t aware. I need to read some more and re-evaluate my perspective of the current Pope.
He turns water into Mtn dew
That’s nothing! My dog turns water to piss. He’s clearly the second coming.
The two “miracles”
Acutis was beatified by Pope Francis in October 2020 after a first miracle was attributed to him, involving a Brazilian boy born with a pancreatic defect who said he was healed after praying to Acutis.
According to Vatican News, the news portal of the Holy See, the second miracle involved a Costa Rican woman whose daughter had a bicycle accident and was given a low chance of survival by doctors.
Vatican News said the mother, Liliana, prayed at Acutis’ tomb in Assisi, Italy, and claimed that her daughter recovered soon after.
I literally lol’d. A religious person can explain this to me but does the old testament not poo poo praying to anyone who is not God?
Fucking Catholics man. How many saints they up to? It’s it ballooning again after the great purge a while back?
I’m not religious but I’m interested in religion.
You are applying the Protestant framework (I can save myself) to Catholicism (only through the church can I be saved) hence why you invoke Bible as a final arbiter of what is and isn’t allowed.
In the old churches (Catholic, Orthodox etc) “Canon” is a combination of early church fathers writings, tradition, the bible and pronunciations of the current head of the church. Furthermore in Catholicism the bible is largely treated as allegorical, not literal.
Now since you are definitionally a sinner, and since salvation can only be obtained through the intermediaries of God: the church, being part of the church mysteries (baptism, communion, prayer, confession etc) is far more important than following any specific part of the bible.
Praying to Saints is not considered a sin since you are under no misapprehension that you are praying to a god, or that they are anything more than humans that lived an exemplary life and are amongst God’s favourite children. It’s like asking the local lord for a favour - you are not confusing him with the king.
It’s a marketing thing.
He’s unlocked recursive miracle attribution. That he was attributed 2 miracles is itself a third miracle. Some guy getting 3 miracles? That’s another miracle…
It’s a lot of work making stuff up just to have your spiritual alcohol.
“Respect the grind, man”
