• @[email protected]
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    854 months ago

    this is done to prevent unauthorized reuse of parts to repair other hamsters which could potentially harm business

  • @[email protected]
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    694 months ago

    Hamster are much like lobsters, in that they just keep growing forever until they can’t molt anymore.

    If you don’t laser explode hamsters, they would eventually be able to eat humans. Which is quite scary if you think about it.

  • @[email protected]
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    514 months ago

    Ok I did some goggling and can’t find the truth, however I’m now more sure they’re not blowing him up

    • @[email protected]
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      1064 months ago

      Of course they’re not blowing up the hamster! That would be unethical, immoral, probably illegal, very hard to clean up, and, most importantly, lasers don’t blow things up, they vapourise them.

      They vapourise the hamsters.

      • Trailblazing Braille Taser
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        524 months ago

        I don’t know where you’re getting your information from. “Hamsters” is actually a misleading term because there is only one hamster on Earth and he is immortal. He travels through time and overlaps his own timeline frequently, creating the illusion of multiple hamsters. As he ages, he grows very slowly and the patterns on his fur change, which is why he looks different sometimes. You should probably say a few hail hamsters now because he doesn’t like when people make jokes about his demise — and he can bite.

        • @[email protected]
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          154 months ago

          when he travels backwards through time he’s referred to as a sterham and is positively charged

        • @[email protected]
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          124 months ago

          I, for one, welcome our immortal, time-travelling, hamster overlord, but please stop giving away their secrets. The ‘vapourisation’ is the cover they need to make the particularly tricky jumps through time and space. It’s not needed every time, hence why it’s not more common, just when they need to arrive at a very specific point that’s already crowded with other manifestations of the ur-hamster.

        • swab148
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          104 months ago

          The proper term is Miniature Giant Space Hamster

      • Madlaine
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        294 months ago

        Well, that doesn’t mean it’s not done.

        My sister had a few (more than 20 simultaneously) rats.

        One rat got stuck with her tail in the cage, and the tail had to be amputated, or the rat would’ve died. There were a few complications during the operation, and the bill would have skyrocketed to more than 2k€. For a tiny rat.

        Needless to say, my sister insisted the operation continue. Rat lived happily for another 18 months

        • @[email protected]
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          84 months ago

          I’m skeptical but I would like to hear about those cases. I had a mouse with $600 vet bill. She did actually live another seven months with a good quality of life.

      • @[email protected]
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        154 months ago

        Why not for research? I could imagine there are some very specific research projects that could make that necessary or interesting enough.

  • @leftzero
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    244 months ago

    No, Mr. Hamster, I expect you to die.

  • @[email protected]
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    114 months ago

    Seriously though… I’m all for giving animals excellent care. But is that actually a thing people do? Give their hamster an MRI? That’s a very expensive procedure for humans with good insurance, so I’d assume it to be rather unaffordable when applied to pets like this.

    I could see it for say, a beloved dog who’s got years of life left. But hamsters kick the bucket if you breathe in their general direction.

      • @[email protected]
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        54 months ago

        That’s pretty much what I’m assuming for an actual answer.

        Though I’ve certainly read about people who spent ungodly amounts to save pets, even old ones or street dogs. Bless them for it, for sure.

    • @[email protected]
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      54 months ago

      The primary reason an MRI is expensive to run is that it has this magnetic field that must be maintained. This is a cost that is irrespective of whether they are running a scan.

      So if you have an MRI for small animals and it’s not being used, you might use it for a hamster.