I’m not hip to the lingo

  • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    Well not really. Those are different things. Black pill is about how you think, while incel is about what you are.

      • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        Depends on which definition you go by, I guess. I prefer the literal meaning of the word; involuntary celibate. A person who is celibate against their own will.

          • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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            7 months ago

            I don’t think that’s fair. It’s not just sex they are after; they want a relationship but are unable to get into one.

              • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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                7 months ago

                Your typical incel is that quiet guy in school with bad skin, plain clothes, and oily hair, whose only friends were the other outcasts. Like everyone else, they just wanted a normal relationship with a normal woman. It’s the repeated failure to form those relationships that leads to the resentment and anger we now see. They weren’t always like that. The bitterness and hatred is a coping mechanism for their situation, not the cause of it.

                  • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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                    7 months ago

                    I’m sure that’s true in some cases, but I wouldn’t generalize it as the explanation for most incel’s situations that they simply had too unrealistic standards

      • WhyFlip@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        The term, “involuntarily celibate” is not about how someone thinks, hence the “involuntary” portion of the phrase.

    • Asidonhopo@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Arguably blackpilled folks are less problematic than incels since they have given up looking and perhaps developed a better attitude toward women (paradoxically) while incels hold a shred of toxic hope that their tradwife will swoop in and save them and that hope eats them alive. Note: I am not a scholar of either community’s worldview

      • mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I had only just learned the term but I’m probably a black pill, and it’s different.

        My wife and I are having trouble, and divorce is on the table.

        When she asked about what am I going to do? I said I don’t intend to ever get into another relationship. Apparently that was more hurtful than trying to replace her… Go figure.

        I’ve had enough relationships in my time to know they are all pretty much the same, and I think I will be better off just not with anyone else. I’m sure my patterns play into these dynamics, but I try my best to be a good partner and I think I’m just better spending that energy on supporting myself in the time I have left.

        I have kids and don’t want to put any pressure on them (IE I’m careful that I don’t want them to be my emotional support), but hopefully that will allow me to feel enough connection as I descend into hermithood.