I think people should get married only if they have a 100% intrinsic drive to do so. If you’re going online asking others, then you shouldn’t get married. It’s like you’re trying to find an excuse for or an approval to override something that is telling you not to get married.
If before you met this woman, your future dream wife’s job was porn, then go for it. If not and rn you’re kinda just kind of like I-don’t-know, then don’t. Stop even thinking about it. It’s not an option.
Honestly, it seems like you probably shouldn’t be wasting your time with this woman. If she has an Only Fans, then she’s using sex to take from men. You’re more likely than not, one of those men because that’s how she sees sex and men. Men are a source of income and sex is the service. It’s all transactional. Of course, she’s not going to come straight out and tell you that because it would ruin her game. Kinda like she probably doesn’t go on her videos and says, “I don’t find any of you attractive. This is all a show to get paid and validation,” because no one would want to watch. She’s going to be the same with you.
I recommend that you look into emotional manipulation tactics used by abusers. When you do so, be honest with yourself. Mind your boundaries.
Honestly, it seems like you probably shouldn’t be wasting your time with this woman.
Man you were giving great advice until you suddenly decided that people in the porn industry are incapable of love and only use sex as a weapon. Sex workers are human beings.
While I don’t agree… People can have their opinions for what they find acceptable for their own partner. Looks like that’s what happened here.
I remember reading a post on reddit a year or so ago where the partner of an OF model talked about how much time she had to spend every day catering to her clients. Between pictures, daily messages, comments, etc., according to this person, she was constantly on her phone, which made quality time together almost impossible.
The way I see it, there are so many variables to this situation. Does she use her real name? Does she show her face? Does she have to spend every waking moment on her phone?
Figure out what you’re comfortable with and see how she lines up with that.
There was an article awhile back about how popular only fans people (personalities, entertainers? I’m not sure what to call them) hire writers to do a lot of their posts. I thought it was pretty interesting, but my opinion may not be valid as I’m not a man.
Long term girlfriend: Yes, if she does not fuck other guys. Maybe I’ll have issues with other things about the OF career, but I can’t forsee it.
Marrying is primarily a financial contract on top of all the squishy feelings. Other than the usual check of living below your means an OF CC would have to prove: Does she have a plan on how to support herself if her OF career does not pay the bills?
It’s really up to you. Are you cool with it? If not, then don’t marry her. If so, then do.
If that’s how you met and is only basis of interacting …. eeek, more red flags than a parade in Beijing. If you are in a healthy relationship and they happen to do OF as a money maker and you both are cool with it, that’s different.
If in the first date when you ask her what she do for living she answer saying you “I do OF” would you go further or would you just ask for the check and GTFO of there?
Man I don’t know…I wouldn’t bail, maybe it is solely a living, but consider if you’re being seen as a paycheck and nothing more.
I guess be up front and say you’re conflicted and see the response. No reason not to enjoy dinner and a chat. Maybe a one-off and an anecdote or maybe more. Good luck either way.
Yeah I mean is only assumptions, I know what I would do but I’m just asking to know what other people here think about this stuff. Thx for your reply much appreciated 👍👍
I don’t like these only men / only women questions. Why don’t you judge an answer by if it’s well reasoned? You shouldn’t judge by if it’s coming from a person with a certain set of private parts.
I mean there are exceptions. »How does it feel to be a woman? I’m interested in the woman perspective.« is a valid question. But I think if asking for broad concepts like in this case, it should be avoided.
Regarding the OF creator question… I’m not sure. I’d date first and see if it’s a nice person before marrying. And live together for maybe half a year to assess if that’s working out. Basically the same as with any other person with regular hobbies/jobs. If that’s alright, everyone loves each other, enough boxes are ticked… I’d marry anyone. Disregarding if she’s a plumber, OF creator or computer science professor.
Why do you keep asking questions about who ‘men of lemmy’ would date? Are you trying to use lemmy for social research or something?
Some time ago I realized Lemmy’s population have some unique demographics, maybe I’m exaggerating but apparently people here are more intelligent than other social media so I like to ask questions to know what the particular demographic of Lemmy think about. Don’t feel bad if you are not a man, I’m planning to do some only women questions also.
What made you think people here are more intelligent than on other social media sites?
I feel that the fact that someone uses Lemmy as a social network already marks a difference between us and the rest of the zombies who start discussing on Facebook.
Well since the means of creating a Lemmy account has a barrier of entry, it can be argued that we may or may not be more intelligent compared to other social media users, but we are also definitely more prone to pursuing more extreme ideologies, like communism which may possibly give you a different view than a normal intelligent fellow would make in your scenario.
Imo it’s fine for me if she does OF, but I would hope that this hobby is a side hustle for her and she also does a job in next of this, preferably a white collar job.
Do you believe her personality characteristics which lead her to do OF could impact her ability to be a good mother? Beside I mean the obvious downside of the availability of her explicit content all around internet could have for the involved kids.
I’d hope an OF creator would be willing to critique and reject the social norm of marriage.
But I think they could be an awesome parent. The personality traits of not icky over sex, understanding nudity, respect for others and their bodies and mores, and resistance to peer and societal pressure seems good.
Agreed. I’d say being an “OF woman content creator” would work as a great way to weed out bigoted men too.
A lot of decent men too lol
What is an “OF woman content creator”?
After reading the comments I think it’s Only Fans. But I had no idea.
Thanks very much. In hindsight, it does make since.
Exactly that’s what I’m talking about.
It’s just another job. I don’t think it’s an issue
