- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
If anyone is trying to understand the current political situation in Russia, a brief look at their history is very instructive.
Russian History:
And then it got worse…
“we thought we hit rock bottom, but then we heard a knock from below” -Russian Joke
We wanted the best but it turned out as always.
Docile dogs breed such result but let’s be real we got enough of that every where
It ain’t like “western civilization” is progressing unless you count young people slaving in poverty as some sort of gold standard… 🤔
“If I fall asleep, wake up 100 years later and somebody asks me, what is going on in Russia, my immediate answer will be: drinking and stealing”
–Alexander Rozenbaum
Now do us🐸
It could be argued that us Germans have actually learned from our history. Unfortunately we seem to be in the process of forgetting that again.
If it hasn’t even been a century and you’re already regressing then no, you did not learn.
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Have faith. Isn’t the AfD close to being disbanded?
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Who is us in this case
I’m going to play the law of averages and assume they mean the Falkland Islands.
U.S.
Close enough, let’s do Falklands
So here’s a little brief history of the falklands that I’ve posted before that people seem to usually enjoy. I’m no historian or anything of the sort, so take my thoughts on this for what it’s worth (and I am certainly biased being an American, don’t exactly get a whole lot of Argentinian history books to study, and most of the Spanish I know is food-related, so if someone wants to enlighten me more on the Argentinian side of things, I welcome the education.) I’m aiming as much to keep this fun and light-hearted as I am for historical accuracy.
In general my understanding is that the British were the first people to land there, didn’t really do much with it at that time, and pretty much just said “finders keepers” then left.
Maybe worth noting, there were no indigenous inhabitants there, so that’s probably about as ethical as colonization can get.
Then France showed up and set up shop since the British weren’t doing anything with it. Britain came back and also set up shop, and it’s not totally clear if either of them even knew the other was there. France eventually decided to fuck off, and let Spain have their bit of the Falklands.
Spain and Britain coexisted for a while, had some scuffles, but more or less worked things out. Eventually Britain pulled out to focus on other things but still considered their “finders keepers” claim to be valid.
Spain eventually pulled out as well, so for a little while no one was really doing much of anything with it officially.
Argentina (technically Buenos Aires at the time if we want to split hairs, I’m going to just use Argentina and Britain to keep the sides easy to follow) comes along, and decides it’s theirs, since they split off from Spain they figure they get the falklands as part of the package since Spain was claiming ownership at the time, although Brittain was still holding to their “finders keeps” claim, Spain and later Argentina basically just countered with “losers weepers” and this is basically the root of the whole conflict.
Put a little more professionally, basically Britain’s claim is they were there first and that claim has always been valid whether they were doing anything with the Islands or not. Argentina’s claim is that Brittain pulled out they left the islands up for grabs, and since Spain was the last country trying to do anything with them, it belongs to them since they’re laying claim to Spain’s former holdings in the region.
Argentina gave some German dude permission to set up a colony for them there to fish and hunt feral cows. Eventually he gets into a fight with an American navy captain over fishing and hunting rights, Captain America kicks their ass a bit and declares the colonial government disolved, and pretty much continues on his merry way. Argentina tries to get things there started back up again but never quite gets their shit back together in the Falklands. A little while later the Brits come back around, still claiming finders keepers, and take charge of everything again, and this time the colonies stick and continue to grow. Argentina spends the next hundred years or so muttering “this is bullshit” to themselves.
Around the 1960s, Britain starts talking about decolonizing, it was kind of all the rage among the European colonial powers at the time, and Argentina gets excited thinking they’re going to finally get the Falklands. Britain even quietly floats the idea of giving them the islands, figuring the Islanders would just kind of accept that decision if it was made, and running these islands from halfway around the world was getting kind of expensive. Turns out though that pretty much everyone on the Falklands is pretty damn happy to be British subjects (sort of a novel experience for Britain, historically not many British colonies have been happy to be British colonies, hell, half of Brittain proper sometimes isn’t too happy to be part of Britain) and don’t really want to be part of Argentina, which made things a bit complicated, and Britain needed some time to figure things out.
Argentina gets kind of impatient with all of this, and eventually decided “fuck it, we’ll just take them ourselves.” Britain cannot abide Argentina’s inability to wait patiently in the queue and was starting to really wrap their heads around the idea that the Falklands would rather stay part of Britain, and so we get the Falklands war.
Britain wins, Argentina goes back to muttering to themselves, and that pretty much brings us up to the present day.
That was a good read, thank you, internet person!
You mean british oligarchy that makes hating the poors their MO?
See, it’s basically the same country!
For a brief recap of just the Soviet Union part, this is a fun little song.
He should have moved quicker to consolidate his power.
He clearly didn’t listen to the right advisors.
Rookie mistake.
By this time twenty years of solitary confinement had disturbed Ivan’s mental equilibrium, though he does not seem to have been actually insane. Nevertheless, despite the mystery surrounding him, he was well aware of his imperial origin and always called himself Gosudar (Sovereign). Instructions had been given not to educate him, but he had been taught his letters and could read his Bible.
I was most curious if like, he was even aware. Reason being Anne Frank doesn’t remember much from before she knew language, only what she remembers as (very vague paraphrasing) primative instincts to want ice cream.
But it seems he was taught enough to understand his situation. Not sure if that’s better or worse.
Edit; yes, Helen Keller, not Anne Frank
Do you mean Hellen Keller? Anne Frank was the girl living in the attic during nazi occupation in World War II. Helen Keller was blind and deaf and, to my recollection, wasn’t able to communicate until adulthood when a teacher came along to teacher sign language.
Maybe they’re confused because the teacher’s name was Anne Sullivan?
Nah I’m confused because I’m an idiot
Hey, being an idiot my job around here! Are you trying to Ivan VI me?
We are all idiots on this blessed day.
Speak for yourself.
I am all idiots on this blessed day!
We do speak for ourselves. That’s how everyone knows we’re idiots. If we were like Hellen Keller, most people would have no idea.
I don’t know who you’re talking about, but it’s not Anne Frank.
Helen Keller possibly?
Yes lmao
That’s depressing.
Yes, it is the happiest Russian childhood in history.
Upon the accession of Peter III in 1762, Ivan’s situation seemed about to improve, for the new emperor visited him and sympathised with his plight, but Peter was deposed just a few months later. New instructions were sent to Ivan’s guardian to place manacles on his charge, and even to scourge him should he become unmanageable.
Dang. Upon the doorstep of deliverance, a new emperor visiting your cell, empathizing with your position, only to have him deposed just as ruthlessly, and your situation made all the worse. How is this a real story and not some terrible ancient Greek tragedy?
Greek tragedies tend to start at a high point and head towards a low point and this boy never had a high point at all. This is more like a Russian tragedy
I mean, little dude peaked at two months old as emperor of Russia, then was Man-in-the-Iron-Masked until his death, right at the moment of his release.
Russian or Greek, it’s a freaking tragedy. I hope the guard that followed orders in killing him before he could be released was subsequently wrecked. Freaking bootlickers, man. They exist in every century.
Thanks, I hate it
“…and then it got worse.”
Interestingly this happened after the death of the Man in the Iron Mask