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For only 12.99M per month I will come and fight your demons for you. Like all good therapists, my ways are mysterious and oblique, but mostly involve a super-soaker.
You must live on site and use only holy water supplied by my man at Evian. Deal?
I require a small cottage at the end of the garden, and if you are to supply the holy water you will need to take appropriate care as to its transport in deion-shielded single-use containers.