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Hey, that’s not entirely fair. Russia is more than happy to accept Americans, so long as they’re willing to be cannon fodder for a while. I’m pretty sure they’re not even putting an age limit on it. If you survive, you may even get a small flat afterwards. And if you don’t, they may give your parents money for a Lada (providing they were Russian citizens already).
e: link
IMO any American who wants to emigrate to Russia is welcome to become topsoil in Ukraine.