My dad died this month. I’m the eldest of 3 kids. My youngest brother died suddenly in his sleep in September 2019 due to arrhythmia at the age of 25. My dad and him were extremely close, like extremely extremely close, to the point where if you had to convince my dad of something, you’d have most chances through my brother than through my mom. After my brother’s death, my dad became a total recluse. Quit his job, moved to a secluded place, devoted himself to spirituality, build one of the most beautiful mausoleums I’ve ever seen for my brother - which he’d visit every single day. My dad was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia last month - he had 0 will to live, staunchly declined any treatment except for hospice. When he died I felt a bit sad naturally, but glad is how I felt the most, relieved: I know he didn’t enjoy living anymore. Physically he died this month, but in most ways I feel like he died back when my brother died. Every day was a struggle for him. I feel like he’s finally at peace now.
Your emotions, on their own, are your own and natural to you. If anything should be judged, it’s how someone goes about their life.
I was expecting a totally different glad but personally if someone wants to die or you know their life is horrible then its perfectly fine. My dad unfortunately survived a really long time with alzheimers and if I could have gifted him dying 10 years earlier I would have. He died bed ridden with an emaciated body and hands permanently balled into fists that could not unclenched. Even baby food would cause him to choke if not careful and he could not even make a coherent nonsensical sentence.
It’s not like you are celebrating his death. You are happy that he no longer had to suffer. That’s just being empathetic.
Sorry for your loss though
It is not wrong. Your feelings are yours alone, and they are valid.
What you’re describing sound more like relief than happyness.
I felt somewhat similar when my dad died. He was drinking and declining mentally. Of course it saddened me, but with us having our first born at the same time, it was also a huge relief not having to deal with his issues in that situation.
My mom started developing dementia about a decade before she died. 5 years after we first noticed the changes, she could barely form a sentence. That is when I mourned her because that is when I lost her. When she finally died I felt mostly relief. I will always miss her but I was happy when her suffering finally ended.
As a parent, I’d definitely feel the loss of my child more keenly than the loss of my sibling.
I feel like he died back when my brother died. Every day was a struggle for him. I feel like he’s finally at peace now.
I felt much the same way when my mum died. They’re finally at peace.
I think you’re showing genuine empathy for your dad. That’s a good thing.
Loss is a little different for everyone. Your feelings about them aren’t good or bad. They just are. They come in waves. Be patient with yourself.
Lots of hugs.
Everyone feels their own feelings.
It might take you a while to process everything.
I appreciate you asking this question so that I could learn about you and your dad. He sounds awesome.
The sense of relief is allowed and shared by many kids that have gone through what you have gone through. The weight of the load and burden is really only understood once is has been lifted.
That’s a good lad; worry not.
May their Souls Rest in peace. Knowing he’s resting from grieving his child is a good feeling to have in the midst of your grief.
Hugs to you. ❤️
Not relevant to your situation. But when Trump dies I’m going to take a day off in celebration. And if I can find a way to piss on his grave I will.
I understand that sentiment, but this really isn’t the place for that right now.
