Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.
Not because they became more plausible. It’s because reality became dumber.
“Insiders have been peddling the lies that these apple cinnamon soaps aren’t dangerous, but I know firsthand how bad they actually taste."
heh. keep your personal dietary habits to yourself trench head
Stop giving him ideas
This seems less crazy than the things he’ll actually say
I love eating Irish spring. tastes like Guinness.
You can’t eat the marbles.
I believed it at first
The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They’re about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.
Satire is dead.
Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?
Better than bleach… Right?
But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve
